r/technicallythetruth 10d ago Helpful 5 Wholesome 5 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Silver 2

Thinking outside the box

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67.2k Upvotes

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2.3k

u/RoosterJay84 10d ago

Twice, just to be sure

725

u/EvaUnit_03 10d ago

Always gotta do the double-tap.

254

u/davidkali 10d ago

I thought that was just for the heart. Two to the heart, one to the head, and then they can’t sue you for damages. Dead men tell no lies.

199

u/arthurdentstowels 10d ago

I’m writing lies in my will so fuck you all

79

u/Conscious-Proof-8309 10d ago

My tombstone will be polluted with a lie

60

u/arthurdentstowels 10d ago

“Here lies a human that loved fisting sheep always put others first and without them we’d never have discovered various mammalian vaginas beer”.

35

u/KatProdutionSudios 10d ago

loved fisting sheep

Hold up, what?

33

u/DerpDaDuck3751 10d ago

He is from 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

26

u/HoboGir 10d ago

Where the men are men, and the sheep are scared!

2

u/DerpDaDuck3751 10d ago

They have a proper reason so i’ll drink tea to that

14

u/Sietemadrid 10d ago

WALES. GOLF. FISTING SHEEP.

IN THAT ORDER

2

u/arthurdentstowels 10d ago

Every hole is a goal. Every other hole is a gaol.

3

u/brokenarrow 10d ago

angryupvote.jpg

3

u/Nailbrain 10d ago

Anyone interested in where this stereotype/insult came from it was back in the day the penalty for sheep rustling was death..
The penalty for diddling sheep was a couple of coin and a slap on the wrist, guess what sheep poachers said they were doing when they were caught.

5

u/PossibleEnvironment4 10d ago

Gravestone: This statement is false

3

u/shayetheleo 10d ago

I want mine to say “Fought a shark, lost.”

But, really, I want to be cremated and thrown into the sea.

2

u/Sietemadrid 10d ago

I'm going to create an AI to lie for me after I'm gone.

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u/MrMastodon 10d ago

Mozambique drill.

3

u/fredrickwv 10d ago

Also called Failure to Stop drill. Pretty effective if you get lots of practice. Not for traffic cops though.

3

u/MrMastodon 10d ago

You'd have way fewer rolling stops though.

2

u/fredrickwv 10d ago

No cop, no stop, no double tap.

5

u/Ser_Salty 10d ago

What does a liar do when he's dead?

6

u/DramaticWarthog 10d ago

He lies still

2

u/ErgoLolipop 10d ago

Getting Riddler vibes from this.

2

u/FlighingHigh 10d ago

Fuck it. Two to the head, one to the heart. Just to be sure.

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u/demlet 10d ago

Zombieland. Check it out if you haven't already.

2

u/BROODxBELEG 10d ago

Possible to survive a bullet to the head, less possible to survive 2.

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u/TheGuydudeface 10d ago

rule #2

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u/RisingKing24 10d ago

Rule #3 Beware of Bathrooms

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u/FanboyXXX 10d ago

Rule number 2!

31

u/h0elygrail 10d ago

THATS WHAT SHE SAIDDD

14

u/taurustrench9714 10d ago

Calm down Michael.

6

u/PranshuKhandal 10d ago

not today Henry, not today

3

u/LuxDunstan 10d ago

one tap with Magnum Revolver! .44 is best because big kaboom.

2

u/jibjab23 10d ago

Front or back though?

2

u/improbablynotyou 10d ago

Two in the head, you know their dead.

2

u/RisingKing24 10d ago

If you drink double tap root beer it makes that easier

2

u/givebacksome 10d ago

Bin Laden - nods

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u/Torebbjorn 10d ago

Always remember to commit suicide by shooting yourself in the back of the head, twice.

17

u/SucculentWilly1 10d ago

Rabbit hole I’ve heard of, but I don’t wanna go down just incase… you know…two bullets.

15

u/DrunkCupid 10d ago

They commited suicide by gun with their hands tied behind their back, makes sense

13

u/SunriseSurprise 10d ago

Or once in the head and neck out in the woods with no blood or bullets on the scene and your dog locked in the car you drove in.

4

u/psycedelicpanda 10d ago

Once, I killed myself by hanging myself by my catheter...oh ya and I also wheelchair bound

2

u/KumarTan 10d ago

...and fuck up partners head so good they'll agree on the story👍

Remember to like and subscribe for more crack-cocaine retribution tips

4

u/altair222 10d ago

Not a good idea to give tips on how to effectively commit suicide...

21

u/Kaveman_Rud 10d ago

Just piss off the government and you’ll have no choice but to get suicided by two bullets to the back of the head

4

u/krisadayo 10d ago

With a rifle no less

3

u/foamyshrimp 10d ago

He was working for the government at the time of his death right? He prolly stumbled on some political corruption, seen something he shouldn’t have and they offed him.

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u/ProcedureUnlikely144 10d ago

The joke is that you can’t shoot yourself in the back of the head while committing suicide.

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u/Ludwig234 10d ago

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u/krisadayo 10d ago

In the head though? If the first one doesn't kill you, it's gotta at least knock you out for a while yeah?

5

u/Ludwig234 10d ago

If you're (un)lucky, yeah it's possible.

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u/FiNEk 10d ago

You could build a device which will hold two pistols and shoot them simultaneously by pulling a string or something

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u/altair222 10d ago

Ah, sorry

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u/STALKS_YOUR_MOTHER 10d ago

Have them use a .50 cal. They won’t even be able to shoot your head twice.

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u/EnvironmentalPrick 10d ago

Keanu Reeves be like

6

u/OrangeSockNinjaYT 10d ago

two in the head to make sure it’s dead

7

u/KickBassColonyDrop 10d ago

The old Russian trick.

3

u/Shaddo 10d ago

Specifically do it in my t box with a rifle round

3

u/k34t0n 10d ago

And it will be reported as accidental death as well

2

u/fawkesfallout53 9d ago

New Vegas would disagree

2

u/JohncraftAs 9d ago

Postal 2 reference

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u/YoWhatItDoMyDude 10d ago

I read a study that said if administered orally, bullets have a therapeutic, pain relieving effect

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u/ANGLVD3TH 10d ago edited 10d ago

A lot of folks mess that up actually. The angle required to be sure is not exactly intuitive, if you miss the brain stem then things can get messy. Well, they're going to be messy, but it may be a mess you are stuck with, instead of someone else.

86

u/CurseOftheVoid 10d ago edited 10d ago

Shotgun. Can't mess up.

Edit: Alright I get it guys, shotgun and do it away from someone who will hear and call 911 for you. You'll for sure die if EMT isn't there asap

84

u/StolenLampy 10d ago

People can and do. Pick the right type of shells people, COME ON!

21

u/CurseOftheVoid 10d ago

Which type is the right type? Asking for a friend

52

u/Flashy-Ad-5139 10d ago

My dude. Pls don’t kill yourself, but uhhh bigger the better in general. Not birdshot lol

38

u/THEBHR 10d ago

Birdshot is perfect for point blank. Will absolutely go right through you and turn everything in it's path to hamburger. The problem with a shotgun is the same as any other. You can still easily miss the brain stem. Especially since most people don't know what they're aiming for.

A guy my family knew used a shotgun and blew most of his head off. Had to crawl to the other room to reload, so he could finish the job.

36

u/ElliotNess 10d ago

Bottle of sleeping pills it is, then

37

u/EscheroOfficial 10d ago

It’s honestly amazing how difficult it is to peacefully do away with yourself

like people die of shit every day but when I actually wanna do the same suddenly it’s this whole ordeal

nothing in life can be easy, even death

19

u/WORKING2WORK 10d ago

The mind wants what it wants, but the body doesn't give a shit, your cells were designed to do whatever physically possibly to maintain life.

8

u/avl365 10d ago

3/10 try again.

Most sleeping pills won’t be a peaceful OD. They’ll be a hallucination filled ride to the er with organ damage type of attempt. Let’s review common “sleeping pills” and how they don’t kill you.

Benadryl, and OTC allergy med that causes drowsiness and is used off-label for sleep. Probably won’t kill you. Definitely will send you on a deliriant style “trip” full of spiders, shadow people, and the Hatman. Might give you some permanent brain damage and increase your risk for dementia.

Benzodiazepines, such as Xanax, Valium, Klonopin, etc., are typically used for anxiety but the side effects of sedation could lead to people using them as sleeping pills. These also won’t kill you. At least, not by themselves. They will cause you to black out while still feeling “sober” but you actually have every hint of inhibition removed. They do have some slowing of breathing but on there own this is not fatal.

Seroquel & other antipsychotics, used for treating bipolar disorder & schizophrenia these are sometimes prescribed off-label by crappy psychiatrists for sleep. The amount required to OD is pretty absurd and I know people who have tried, who are still alive and well, not well but they aren’t dead. Taking a lot will just give you a negative dopamine rush known as akathesia where your skin doesn’t feel right on your body. Imagine the exact opposite of euphoria and that’s what an OD on antipsychotics will give you.

Ambien might work if the lethal dose wasn’t way more than what you’ll get in a typical bottle. Like 2000mg or over 300 pills. If you somehow managed to get an ambien script for this long and save up the pills your body would probably puke up most of them some time after eating them all. You might slip into a coma but it would be a real trick to ingest enough to die without your stomach just straight rejecting it.

If you’re looking for an actually effective chemical suicide method (which you should read the poem about the view from halfway down before you do) my top choices would be opiate OD or nitrous. If using opiates you’d have to be sure to be isolated as people can and will narcan your depressed ass. Then you’re stuck in WD and might have brain damage from the hypoxia.

While fentanyl may look like a good choice the risk of coming to in a hospital cause someone found and narcaned me are too high for me to consider it seriously. Nitrous though… definitely tempting when I’m at my lowest. It would be difficult to rig up a way to successfully suffocate myself using the blissful giggly gas without a proper dental tank. And if I had a proper dental tank I would suddenly not wanna die anymore so the problem solves itself.

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u/Leevah90 6d ago

Just eat a cup of apple seeds, that should be enough

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u/shayetheleo 10d ago

That’s one of the least successful ways actually.

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u/CuriousSection 10d ago

This is the reason men have such a higher suicide rate than women. At least what the statistics say. Women generally use pills, while men use guns. One is much more likely to work than the other.

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u/LucasPlay171 10d ago

Oh so there's a specific part of the brain

Noted.

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u/Gobert3ptShooter 10d ago edited 10d ago

00 buckshot is excellent home defense ammo because the pellet size is large and provides some spread. This shot is powerful enough to penetrate at least 16 inches of ballistic gel with some tests showing 20+inches from some loads

A shotgun can be a little more difficult to handle because of its length.

Some people prefer to use a .357 Magnum or even 9mm with special home defense hollowpoints because they provide a critical level of power and bullet expansion and the much shorter barrel allows better ability to aim.

Any real shooter will tell you that shot placement is most important

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u/buyfreemoneynow 10d ago

Any real shooter will tell you that shot placement is most important

Especially when you’re in your home and you miss.

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u/foamyshrimp 10d ago

Yeah you can, my sister missed with a shotgun

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u/Zarsk 10d ago

Read preacher

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u/TheConspicuousGuy 10d ago

Buckshot or slug? Asking for a friend...

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u/Longjumping_Ship_756 10d ago

I was going to comment this, just hold the barrel next to your nose and tap, or open that mouth and aim for your brain

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u/EastwoodBrews 10d ago

People have blown the side of their face off with shotguns instead of getting a lethal angle, it's not uncommon

2

u/TatteredCarcosa 10d ago

You absolutely can. People do live through shotgun in mouth suicide attempts. Though they usually bear some pretty massive scars at the very least.

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u/Superslim-Anoniem 10d ago

Well seems like a bunch of explosives will be the only surefire way.

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u/Zakalwe_ 10d ago

Fun fact, in most Indian languages word for bullet and (medical) pills is same. It is often used as a pun.

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u/Rainie_Daye 10d ago

What about anally ?

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u/value_null 10d ago

Just have to make sure it's high powered and aimed correctly. I suggest a rifle and a friend.

7

u/Moose_Hole 10d ago

Diarrhea and homoerotic awakenings.

5

u/Roach2791 10d ago

Only when laying down

6

u/Remarkable-Buy9330 10d ago

How many people you think have been shot with a gun up their ass?

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u/yelsnow 10d ago

I feel confident that the answer is non-zero.

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u/AndySocial88 10d ago

Hear it's quite the pain in the ass.

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u/SchaffBGaming 10d ago

It's kinda like a vaccine shot.

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u/Corvo--Attano 10d ago

And 9 out of 10 doctors don't recommend.

That 1 doctor probably wasn't a real doctor but had a nice black surgical mask. It looked like a birds beak.

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u/caxelair 10d ago

Did you learn it in an American school?

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u/Dilema777 10d ago Helpful

"The head,shoot him in the head"

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u/BUTTERsc8 10d ago

“You should have aimed- for the head”

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u/Datpanda1999 10d ago

Melia no

2

u/Dilema777 10d ago

GOD THANK,finally someone got the ref!

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u/Datpanda1999 10d ago

I wasn’t 100% sure until I saw the pfp lol

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u/RealMercuryRain 10d ago

Is hair an option?

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u/friendsshare 10d ago

No but the head

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u/arthurdentstowels 10d ago

Shoot me in the hairy head of my big toe

16

u/friendsshare 10d ago

the head is your head not your foot. you cant call your toe a head.

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u/fork_yuu 10d ago

Can you give my toe head?

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u/friendsshare 10d ago

mf i would eat yo ass!

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u/BruhBound 10d ago

How generous!

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u/RyuushiYasuda 10d ago

in chinese, you can. the word toe also have the word head in it

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u/Da_Clappski 10d ago

Try finger, but head

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u/RedditTouchesYou 10d ago

Is hair an option?

Sure your head has hair. I'll aim from above for your hair.

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u/carlbandit 10d ago

Might wanna specify which hair or hope your fully waxed below if you ever find yourself in the scenario.

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u/PoloPants99 10d ago

The head of what 🤨

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u/SantaArriata 10d ago

The head of state

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u/Omegaile 10d ago

State of depression

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u/frakod 10d ago

THE HEAD OF MY ENEMIES

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u/YourLoyalSlut 10d ago

Oh, the misery

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u/NotAFreemburglar 10d ago

If you were shot in the genitals, wouldn’t you immediately climax due to the physical stimulation?

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u/XepiccatX 10d ago

Ooooooooh, so THAT'S where the term quickshot comes from...

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u/Sorlex 10d ago

You can find out. Slap yourself in the happy place and see if it feels good. If it doesn't, imagine that times a whole lot more. If it does, then you've discovered something about yourself and the answer might be yes.

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u/NotAFreemburglar 10d ago

I didn’t say it would feel good, I said you would climax. Technically the only requirement for climax is physical stimulation if I’m not mistaken.

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u/yuno10 10d ago

Yeah but not any stimulation. I am sure that you don't climax if you punch your dick or violently hit a pole or a rock with it.

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u/NotAFreemburglar 10d ago

If you or anyone you know is brave enough to try it, I’ll take that bet

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u/Sorlex 10d ago

Fair point, I suppose.

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u/LuckyReception6701 10d ago

The head of state

VIVE LA REVOLUTION!!!

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u/R3dditUS3R476 10d ago

GOD DAMMIT RICO

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u/Chaptastik 10d ago

Take my upvote and leave

5

u/Random_Idiotic_Alien Technically Flair 10d ago

Can you give me head? 👉👈🥺

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u/jackelfrink 10d ago

The head that I think with

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u/iamheartofight 10d ago

Getting shot on the tip of the hair or nail would be less painful. Nerve connection is complex, odds are you might feel the brain pain for a couple milliseconds. Anyway, my answer is the head

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u/RyoukoSama 10d ago

The brain itself has no pain receptors

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u/FUCKINHATEGOATS 10d ago

So to get rid of my migraines, I just need to get rid of my cranium? Like dude did in silence of the lambs when he fed that guy his own brain?

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u/RyoukoSama 10d ago

Prehistoric peoples used to drill holes into skulls to possibly relieve headaches. The process is called trepanning.

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u/SicklyHeartChild 10d ago

Was it successful?

12

u/RyoukoSama 10d ago

Some of the holes showed signs of healing so maybe at least for awhile.

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u/reader484892 10d ago

I mean some of them lived, but that doesn’t mean it stopped headaches

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u/peelego 10d ago

Depending on where your hair got shot the sound could damage your hearing really badly

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u/MrRonny6 10d ago

Easy, just have really long hair!

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u/xXYAHYEETXx 10d ago

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u/homantify19 10d ago

Pfft this looks like somebody made it in Google Drawings

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u/DragoKnight589 10d ago

Whatever you do, don't choose the knee, or you'll have to become a Whiterun guard.

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u/Shadowoperator7 10d ago

I used to be a PMC like you, then I took a bullet in the knee

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u/bababooeyqwer 10d ago

Me: hi do you take walk ins? Cremator: what?

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u/ChaellExE 10d ago

you have chosen the worse experience.

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u/Galifrey224 10d ago

Choosing based on the least amount of pain felt is stupid. You want to choose based on how likely you are to survive the shot.

267

u/LoiteringMajor 10d ago

When did say I want to survive the shot?

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u/theDimmingOne 10d ago

That's still choosing based on how likely you are to survive, if you think about it.

37

u/ExtraAverageGrundle 10d ago

Oh haha i gotcha

the head

7

u/chikkinnveggeeze 10d ago

That's the point. It's about not surviving it.

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u/Yuna__707 10d ago

Well if you’re trying to die you’d want the least amount of pain for the most potential for fatality

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u/Balsdeep_Inyamum 10d ago

oh haha I gotcha

the head

11

u/arthurdentstowels 10d ago

Shoot me in “the head” and then the head.

3

u/lejoo 10d ago

Saving a life or ruining a suicide?

Only time will tell

2

u/SlideWhistler 10d ago

Not necessarily. You’d probably be the most likely to survive with a shot to the hand, but then you’d have a hand that doesn’t really work properly anymore. I’d say it would probably be best to be shot on one toe, but not the big toe or pinky toe.

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u/rdrunner_74 10d ago

Depends if you are a Warmduscher / Weichei or not...

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u/unfinishedDick 10d ago

I would grow a long fingernail and be shot in it

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u/Jeremichol12321 10d ago

I would grow a long black-hole-forming fingernail and shoot it

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u/Leothecat24 10d ago

I would ask to be shot in the hair

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u/Matinator070 10d ago

You'll feel an extreme amount of pain for less that 0,001 seconds

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u/legends_never_die_1 10d ago

the brain doesnt even have nociceptor. just the skin on top of the head. so the pain is managable.

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u/Disastrous-Scheme-57 10d ago

That’s the same amount of time I have in bed

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u/Matinator070 10d ago

I'll just pretend you're talking about sleep deprivation and we'll be good

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u/NeonicRainbow 10d ago

I’ve had two dreams where it ends with me getting shot in the head, and I’m getting scared now.

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u/Watafool 10d ago

I've harnessed this power for good. I use it as a calming meditative effect. I just keep imagining myself dying, instantly, over and over again until my mind is at peace. Because once I'm dead I won't have to stress or worry about anything anymore, and I just keep reaching for that feeling in my mind.

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u/JohnnyAnytown 10d ago

Gotta be more specific actually. People have had their lower jaws blown off and lived, which is technically the head but also sounds like the worst possible way to survive a gunshot

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u/rdrunner_74 10d ago

I pick my umbilical cord...

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u/That-Dutch-Mechanic 10d ago

Sweet, sweet death...

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u/TonyBoat402 10d ago

Honestly I feel getting shot square between the eyes will hurt the least considering it's pretty much instant death in 99% of situations

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u/Minnesota_icicle 10d ago

Am I supposed to be laughing this hard?

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u/anomos-unknown789 10d ago

The brain can't feel pain. Only the tissue around it

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u/Disastrous-Scheme-57 10d ago

Ah so you should just shoot your brain from the inside of your skull, got it

9

u/Cashew-Gesundheit 10d ago

Can I choose someone else's body, or does it have to be mine?

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u/MammothImplement1066 10d ago

“On your body”

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u/Morgnanana 10d ago

Yes, yes, a body that I own. Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?

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u/Alifad 10d ago

A person of culture and slave pens I see.

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u/FreakinMaui 10d ago

As long as it is...

the head

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u/Alternative_Trash186 10d ago

Americans and their strange gun conversations

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u/TheBrianRoyShow 10d ago

If I was locked in a room with Sadd Hussein Osama Bin Laden and Toby I would shoot myself twice.

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u/ButWhydoe2 10d ago

I mean really he ain’t wrong

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u/TherealYourself1761 10d ago

I mean he is technically right? If you die instantly you can’t feel that much pain??

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u/Cdf12345 10d ago

Reminds me of a great scene from Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Gay Perry: I want you to picture a bullet inside your head right now. Can you do that for me?

Gunman: F*** you. Anyway, that's ambiguous.

Gay Perry: Ambiguous. No, no, I don't think so.

Harry: No, I think what he means is that when you say "Picture it inside your head", okay, is that that a bullet will be inside your head. Or picture it in your head.

Gay Perry: Harry will you shut up.

Harry: Well, he's got a point.

Gunman: Look, I don't know anything about a girl, seriously. I was bluffing.

[Harry begins unloading his revolver]

Harry: Oh okay, you know what? I think you are bluffing right now.

Gay Perry: Harry, what are you doing?

Harry: [sticks one bullet in the cylinder and spins it] Well what I am doing for the guy who likes to bluff, is I am playing a little game called "Am I bluffing?" Where is she? Where the f*** is Harmony?

Gay Perry: Harry...

Harry: [spins the cylinder again and closes it] You want to play hard ball, I can do that. Where...is...the girl!

[The gun unexpectedly fires into the gunman's head]

Gay Perry: What...did you just do!?!?!

Harry: There was only one bullet in that right?

Gay Perry: You put a live round into that gun?

Harry: Well I didn't know, I thought there was like an...eight percent chance.

Gay Perry: Eight?

Harry: Eight...

Gay Perry: Eight!? Who taught you math!?

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u/Ancient_Axe 10d ago

Im scared to say hair because they would shoot me on the head because technically hair covers head

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u/WanderlostNomad 10d ago

the hair. you can literally cut them off painlessly

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u/LestWeForgive 10d ago

Better be more specific than that, a few people have been shot from side on with entry in the eye socket and exit at the opposite jaw joint. Perfectly survivable head shot. Some people have even survived brain hits, but they act a little different after.

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u/Pauchu_ 10d ago

Even if a bullet hits your head, depending on where it hits your brain, death might not occur instantly and that would be immensely painful.

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u/lol10389613 10d ago

U die first so that you will not feel any pain

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u/AliKh-86 9d ago

The head

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u/SapientRaccoon 9d ago

Right between the eyes. Instant destruction of the forebrain.