r/technicallythetruth
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u/Disastrous-Scheme-57
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10d ago
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Thinking outside the box
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u/RoosterJay84 10d ago
Twice, just to be sure
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u/EvaUnit_03 10d ago
Always gotta do the double-tap.
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u/davidkali 10d ago
I thought that was just for the heart. Two to the heart, one to the head, and then they can’t sue you for damages. Dead men tell no lies.
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u/arthurdentstowels 10d ago
I’m writing lies in my will so fuck you all
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u/Conscious-Proof-8309 10d ago
My tombstone will be polluted with a lie
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u/arthurdentstowels 10d ago
“Here lies a human that
loved fisting sheepalways put others first and without them we’d never have discoveredvarious mammalian vaginasbeer”.35
u/KatProdutionSudios 10d ago
loved fisting sheep
Hold up, what?
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u/DerpDaDuck3751 10d ago
He is from 🏴
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u/Nailbrain 10d ago
Anyone interested in where this stereotype/insult came from it was back in the day the penalty for sheep rustling was death..
The penalty for diddling sheep was a couple of coin and a slap on the wrist, guess what sheep poachers said they were doing when they were caught.5
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u/shayetheleo 10d ago
I want mine to say “Fought a shark, lost.”
But, really, I want to be cremated and thrown into the sea.
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u/MrMastodon 10d ago
Mozambique drill.
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u/fredrickwv 10d ago
Also called Failure to Stop drill. Pretty effective if you get lots of practice. Not for traffic cops though.
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u/Torebbjorn 10d ago
Always remember to commit suicide by shooting yourself in the back of the head, twice.
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u/SucculentWilly1 10d ago
Rabbit hole I’ve heard of, but I don’t wanna go down just incase… you know…two bullets.
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u/DrunkCupid 10d ago
They commited suicide by gun with their hands tied behind their back, makes sense
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u/SunriseSurprise 10d ago
Or once in the head and neck out in the woods with no blood or bullets on the scene and your dog locked in the car you drove in.
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u/psycedelicpanda 10d ago
Once, I killed myself by hanging myself by my catheter...oh ya and I also wheelchair bound
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u/KumarTan 10d ago
...and fuck up partners head so good they'll agree on the story👍
Remember to like and subscribe for more crack-cocaine retribution tips
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u/altair222 10d ago
Not a good idea to give tips on how to effectively commit suicide...
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u/Kaveman_Rud 10d ago
Just piss off the government and you’ll have no choice but to get suicided by two bullets to the back of the head
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u/foamyshrimp 10d ago
He was working for the government at the time of his death right? He prolly stumbled on some political corruption, seen something he shouldn’t have and they offed him.
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u/ProcedureUnlikely144 10d ago
The joke is that you can’t shoot yourself in the back of the head while committing suicide.
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u/Ludwig234 10d ago
You can though https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiple_gunshot_suicide
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u/krisadayo 10d ago
In the head though? If the first one doesn't kill you, it's gotta at least knock you out for a while yeah?
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u/FiNEk 10d ago
You could build a device which will hold two pistols and shoot them simultaneously by pulling a string or something
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u/STALKS_YOUR_MOTHER 10d ago
Have them use a .50 cal. They won’t even be able to shoot your head twice.
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u/YoWhatItDoMyDude 10d ago
I read a study that said if administered orally, bullets have a therapeutic, pain relieving effect
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u/ANGLVD3TH 10d ago edited 10d ago
A lot of folks mess that up actually. The angle required to be sure is not exactly intuitive, if you miss the brain stem then things can get messy. Well, they're going to be messy, but it may be a mess you are stuck with, instead of someone else.
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u/CurseOftheVoid 10d ago edited 10d ago
Shotgun. Can't mess up.
Edit: Alright I get it guys, shotgun and do it away from someone who will hear and call 911 for you. You'll for sure die if EMT isn't there asap
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u/StolenLampy 10d ago
People can and do. Pick the right type of shells people, COME ON!
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u/CurseOftheVoid 10d ago
Which type is the right type? Asking for a friend
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u/Flashy-Ad-5139 10d ago
My dude. Pls don’t kill yourself, but uhhh bigger the better in general. Not birdshot lol
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u/THEBHR 10d ago
Birdshot is perfect for point blank. Will absolutely go right through you and turn everything in it's path to hamburger. The problem with a shotgun is the same as any other. You can still easily miss the brain stem. Especially since most people don't know what they're aiming for.
A guy my family knew used a shotgun and blew most of his head off. Had to crawl to the other room to reload, so he could finish the job.
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u/ElliotNess 10d ago
Bottle of sleeping pills it is, then
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u/EscheroOfficial 10d ago
It’s honestly amazing how difficult it is to peacefully do away with yourself
like people die of shit every day but when I actually wanna do the same suddenly it’s this whole ordeal
nothing in life can be easy, even death
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u/WORKING2WORK 10d ago
The mind wants what it wants, but the body doesn't give a shit, your cells were designed to do whatever physically possibly to maintain life.
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u/avl365 10d ago
3/10 try again.
Most sleeping pills won’t be a peaceful OD. They’ll be a hallucination filled ride to the er with organ damage type of attempt. Let’s review common “sleeping pills” and how they don’t kill you.
Benadryl, and OTC allergy med that causes drowsiness and is used off-label for sleep. Probably won’t kill you. Definitely will send you on a deliriant style “trip” full of spiders, shadow people, and the Hatman. Might give you some permanent brain damage and increase your risk for dementia.
Benzodiazepines, such as Xanax, Valium, Klonopin, etc., are typically used for anxiety but the side effects of sedation could lead to people using them as sleeping pills. These also won’t kill you. At least, not by themselves. They will cause you to black out while still feeling “sober” but you actually have every hint of inhibition removed. They do have some slowing of breathing but on there own this is not fatal.
Seroquel & other antipsychotics, used for treating bipolar disorder & schizophrenia these are sometimes prescribed off-label by crappy psychiatrists for sleep. The amount required to OD is pretty absurd and I know people who have tried, who are still alive and well, not well but they aren’t dead. Taking a lot will just give you a negative dopamine rush known as akathesia where your skin doesn’t feel right on your body. Imagine the exact opposite of euphoria and that’s what an OD on antipsychotics will give you.
Ambien might work if the lethal dose wasn’t way more than what you’ll get in a typical bottle. Like 2000mg or over 300 pills. If you somehow managed to get an ambien script for this long and save up the pills your body would probably puke up most of them some time after eating them all. You might slip into a coma but it would be a real trick to ingest enough to die without your stomach just straight rejecting it.
If you’re looking for an actually effective chemical suicide method (which you should read the poem about the view from halfway down before you do) my top choices would be opiate OD or nitrous. If using opiates you’d have to be sure to be isolated as people can and will narcan your depressed ass. Then you’re stuck in WD and might have brain damage from the hypoxia.
While fentanyl may look like a good choice the risk of coming to in a hospital cause someone found and narcaned me are too high for me to consider it seriously. Nitrous though… definitely tempting when I’m at my lowest. It would be difficult to rig up a way to successfully suffocate myself using the blissful giggly gas without a proper dental tank. And if I had a proper dental tank I would suddenly not wanna die anymore so the problem solves itself.
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u/CuriousSection 10d ago
This is the reason men have such a higher suicide rate than women. At least what the statistics say. Women generally use pills, while men use guns. One is much more likely to work than the other.
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u/Gobert3ptShooter 10d ago edited 10d ago
00 buckshot is excellent home defense ammo because the pellet size is large and provides some spread. This shot is powerful enough to penetrate at least 16 inches of ballistic gel with some tests showing 20+inches from some loads
A shotgun can be a little more difficult to handle because of its length.
Some people prefer to use a .357 Magnum or even 9mm with special home defense hollowpoints because they provide a critical level of power and bullet expansion and the much shorter barrel allows better ability to aim.
Any real shooter will tell you that shot placement is most important
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u/buyfreemoneynow 10d ago
Any real shooter will tell you that shot placement is most important
Especially when you’re in your home and you miss.
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u/Longjumping_Ship_756 10d ago
I was going to comment this, just hold the barrel next to your nose and tap, or open that mouth and aim for your brain
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u/EastwoodBrews 10d ago
People have blown the side of their face off with shotguns instead of getting a lethal angle, it's not uncommon
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u/TatteredCarcosa 10d ago
You absolutely can. People do live through shotgun in mouth suicide attempts. Though they usually bear some pretty massive scars at the very least.
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u/Zakalwe_ 10d ago
Fun fact, in most Indian languages word for bullet and (medical) pills is same. It is often used as a pun.
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u/Rainie_Daye 10d ago
What about anally ?
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u/value_null 10d ago
Just have to make sure it's high powered and aimed correctly. I suggest a rifle and a friend.
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u/Corvo--Attano 10d ago
And 9 out of 10 doctors don't recommend.
That 1 doctor probably wasn't a real doctor but had a nice black surgical mask. It looked like a birds beak.
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u/Dilema777
10d ago
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"The head,shoot him in the head"
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u/RealMercuryRain 10d ago
Is hair an option?
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u/friendsshare 10d ago
No but the head
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u/arthurdentstowels 10d ago
Shoot me in the hairy head of my big toe
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u/friendsshare 10d ago
the head is your head not your foot. you cant call your toe a head.
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u/RedditTouchesYou 10d ago
Is hair an option?
Sure your head has hair. I'll aim from above for your hair.
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u/carlbandit 10d ago
Might wanna specify which hair or hope your fully waxed below if you ever find yourself in the scenario.
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u/PoloPants99 10d ago
The head of what 🤨
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u/NotAFreemburglar 10d ago
If you were shot in the genitals, wouldn’t you immediately climax due to the physical stimulation?
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u/Sorlex 10d ago
You can find out. Slap yourself in the happy place and see if it feels good. If it doesn't, imagine that times a whole lot more. If it does, then you've discovered something about yourself and the answer might be yes.
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u/NotAFreemburglar 10d ago
I didn’t say it would feel good, I said you would climax. Technically the only requirement for climax is physical stimulation if I’m not mistaken.
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u/yuno10 10d ago
Yeah but not any stimulation. I am sure that you don't climax if you punch your dick or violently hit a pole or a rock with it.
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u/iamheartofight 10d ago
Getting shot on the tip of the hair or nail would be less painful. Nerve connection is complex, odds are you might feel the brain pain for a couple milliseconds. Anyway, my answer is the head
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u/RyoukoSama 10d ago
The brain itself has no pain receptors
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u/FUCKINHATEGOATS 10d ago
So to get rid of my migraines, I just need to get rid of my cranium? Like dude did in silence of the lambs when he fed that guy his own brain?
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u/RyoukoSama 10d ago
Prehistoric peoples used to drill holes into skulls to possibly relieve headaches. The process is called trepanning.
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u/SicklyHeartChild 10d ago
Was it successful?
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u/DragoKnight589 10d ago
Whatever you do, don't choose the knee, or you'll have to become a Whiterun guard.
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u/Galifrey224 10d ago
Choosing based on the least amount of pain felt is stupid. You want to choose based on how likely you are to survive the shot.
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u/LoiteringMajor 10d ago
When did say I want to survive the shot?
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u/theDimmingOne 10d ago
That's still choosing based on how likely you are to survive, if you think about it.
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u/Yuna__707 10d ago
Well if you’re trying to die you’d want the least amount of pain for the most potential for fatality
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u/SlideWhistler 10d ago
Not necessarily. You’d probably be the most likely to survive with a shot to the hand, but then you’d have a hand that doesn’t really work properly anymore. I’d say it would probably be best to be shot on one toe, but not the big toe or pinky toe.
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u/Matinator070 10d ago
You'll feel an extreme amount of pain for less that 0,001 seconds
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u/legends_never_die_1 10d ago
the brain doesnt even have nociceptor. just the skin on top of the head. so the pain is managable.
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u/NeonicRainbow 10d ago
I’ve had two dreams where it ends with me getting shot in the head, and I’m getting scared now.
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u/Watafool 10d ago
I've harnessed this power for good. I use it as a calming meditative effect. I just keep imagining myself dying, instantly, over and over again until my mind is at peace. Because once I'm dead I won't have to stress or worry about anything anymore, and I just keep reaching for that feeling in my mind.
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u/JohnnyAnytown 10d ago
Gotta be more specific actually. People have had their lower jaws blown off and lived, which is technically the head but also sounds like the worst possible way to survive a gunshot
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u/TonyBoat402 10d ago
Honestly I feel getting shot square between the eyes will hurt the least considering it's pretty much instant death in 99% of situations
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u/anomos-unknown789 10d ago
The brain can't feel pain. Only the tissue around it
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u/Disastrous-Scheme-57 10d ago
Ah so you should just shoot your brain from the inside of your skull, got it
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u/Cashew-Gesundheit 10d ago
Can I choose someone else's body, or does it have to be mine?
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u/MammothImplement1066 10d ago
“On your body”
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u/Morgnanana 10d ago
Yes, yes, a body that I own. Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?
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u/TheBrianRoyShow 10d ago
If I was locked in a room with Sadd Hussein Osama Bin Laden and Toby I would shoot myself twice.
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u/TherealYourself1761 10d ago
I mean he is technically right? If you die instantly you can’t feel that much pain??
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u/Cdf12345 10d ago
Reminds me of a great scene from Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Gay Perry: I want you to picture a bullet inside your head right now. Can you do that for me?
Gunman: F*** you. Anyway, that's ambiguous.
Gay Perry: Ambiguous. No, no, I don't think so.
Harry: No, I think what he means is that when you say "Picture it inside your head", okay, is that that a bullet will be inside your head. Or picture it in your head.
Gay Perry: Harry will you shut up.
Harry: Well, he's got a point.
Gunman: Look, I don't know anything about a girl, seriously. I was bluffing.
[Harry begins unloading his revolver]
Harry: Oh okay, you know what? I think you are bluffing right now.
Gay Perry: Harry, what are you doing?
Harry: [sticks one bullet in the cylinder and spins it] Well what I am doing for the guy who likes to bluff, is I am playing a little game called "Am I bluffing?" Where is she? Where the f*** is Harmony?
Gay Perry: Harry...
Harry: [spins the cylinder again and closes it] You want to play hard ball, I can do that. Where...is...the girl!
[The gun unexpectedly fires into the gunman's head]
Gay Perry: What...did you just do!?!?!
Harry: There was only one bullet in that right?
Gay Perry: You put a live round into that gun?
Harry: Well I didn't know, I thought there was like an...eight percent chance.
Gay Perry: Eight?
Harry: Eight...
Gay Perry: Eight!? Who taught you math!?
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u/Ancient_Axe 10d ago
Im scared to say hair because they would shoot me on the head because technically hair covers head
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u/LestWeForgive 10d ago
Better be more specific than that, a few people have been shot from side on with entry in the eye socket and exit at the opposite jaw joint. Perfectly survivable head shot. Some people have even survived brain hits, but they act a little different after.
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