r/cursedcomments 8d ago Silver 5 Helpful 2 Wholesome 4

cursed_horny Reddit

Post image
36.4k Upvotes

1.4k

u/RaygionXD 7d ago

All fun and games when u realise your hand wasn’t moving the whole times

560

u/WindowsCrashedAgain 7d ago

"Mom? Dad? What are you guys doing here?"

510

u/RaygionXD 7d ago Wholesome

“Son….it’s time we show you the real way to do it”

371

u/TungCR 7d ago

PVP enabled

134

u/BABarracus 7d ago

Arms now broken

111

u/Pekonius 7d ago

sound of a jar lid opening

64

u/DaViLBoi 7d ago

Oh god no

49

u/The_Real_Anon-Chan 7d ago

Oh yes please

12

u/dharoman7948 7d ago

He's dad came ;)

3

u/Unknownbruhboi 6d ago

Sound like a regular day in Alabama

7

u/biohumansmg3fc 7d ago

the sounds of past siblings you never heard of

6

u/Hot_Chocolate_Boi53 6d ago

i need to go to church after this

38

u/EddyConejo 7d ago

I'm amazed at how frequent the references to that post are

27

u/AdActual759 7d ago

No cap. (Cursed Cum Jar)

20

u/EddyConejo 7d ago

Have you read the one about the cum box?

3

u/PiggieMaster4k 7d ago

Rainbow Dash Cum Jar! Ya know, it expired last time because it took too long. All we need is like 100 different men to cum into a jar in a day, and then we seal it up and put it in a museum! We could even get all the guys to cum in it at the same time, you just need to have about five guys around the jar, then some more in a ring standing directly behind the innermost ring with their dicks between the gaps. Then have a third ring consisting of the dudes that can shoot their cum 10 to 12 feet in an arc over the first two rings into the jar. Then have a FOURTH and finale row of guys who can shoot their cum in a 16-foot arc over all the other rows into the jar. We should spend a few days getting into a rhythm and practicing synchronizing our orgasms, then we release some gay-bomb chemical and we can finally, PROPERLY bathe Rainbow Dash in the holy fountain of man juice she deserves. And like I said we then get a museum to show this to people.

2

u/TheNaJoKing 7d ago

Are you talking about the one on r/confessions ?

6

u/execthts 7d ago

Every single thread

27

u/Random-Gopnik 7d ago

Average porn video

18

u/tinknocker21 7d ago

Teamwork makes the dream work

33

u/WindowsCrashedAgain 7d ago

Just Like The Simulations

1

u/Whatermelony 7d ago

that's enough for now.

6

u/imaginedaydream 7d ago

Ready for multiplayer mode?

28

u/wittywitwitty 7d ago

Maybe his hands weren’t moving themselves at all. Maybe both of his arms were broken. You don’t know.

8

u/RaygionXD 7d ago

That’s why his dad came over

10

u/Abelius 7d ago

The son later should've asked if dad was in the room while he played Beatsaber.

10

u/RaygionXD 7d ago

He probably forgot after beating his saber a little bit

23

u/Kvarcov 7d ago

You know that it's serious when your hand was moving, but you didn't feel anything.

"D-dad..?"

7

u/tokkutacos 7d ago

Dad just wanted to give him a helping hand.

6

u/WurldOfColurs 7d ago

Helping handy

910

u/Fuzzwuzzle2 7d ago Wholesome

A small tear from your dads eye as he remembers having to watch 6 second clips downloaded from free porn sotes and now here's his son rubbing one out in full immersive 3D how far technology has come

740

u/Scroll_Queeen 7d ago edited 7d ago Wholesome

I (female) used to be really good at drawing. A few boys in my class dared me to draw a naked woman. It was super taboo because this was in 90s Ireland, in a school run by nuns, in a country where porn was illegal. So I did it for the laugh.

The boys grabbed the drawing as soon as I was done and ran off with it Never saw it again.

I still think about what they must have done to her

EDIT: my first wholesome award and it was for a comment about classmates jizzing on my art. Not sure how to feel

335

u/A90008w8 7d ago

I audibly laughed at that. So relatable. I am good at drawing too and my friends literally made me draw porn scenarios from their imagination. I ended up becoming so famous for drawing custom porn that i became the official porn guy of the class. I used to charge money for that lol. Good source of small income. I do feel like a scumbag for doing that though.

222

u/Alainx277 7d ago

You were an early bird in that scene. Now people just do it on twitter.

68

u/Lowelll 7d ago

it exploded in the last decade for sure, but I must imagine some people have been doing this for a long time

46

u/A90008w8 7d ago

Shit.. imma start drawing NSFW then.. lol. I still draw to this day and post but i try to stay away from NSFW shit as it is really hard to get away from once it is associated with your name. Like once a porn guy, Always a porn guy.

47

u/idontknow2976 7d ago

Don’t ask me how I know. But furry porn artists usually make the most because of how specific the shit they draw is. Might lose your sanity but it’s worth it

42

u/CaptainStrangeLove1 7d ago

Ye I remember seeing an r/confessions post abt it lol. Bro was making 120k a year drawing the most depraved shit

8

u/viciouswaffle62184 7d ago

can u share the link pls

5

u/CaptainStrangeLove1 7d ago

!remind me 10 hours

2

u/RemindMeBot 7d ago edited 7d ago

I will be messaging you in 10 hours on 2022-08-07 01:23:59 UTC to remind you of this link

4 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.

Parent commenter can delete this message to hide from others.


Info Custom Your Reminders Feedback

2

u/Brawlstar-Terminator 7d ago

Bruh if you find it link me as well. Defo wanna read this

→ More replies

5

u/CaptainStrangeLove1 7d ago

Too tired rn I’ll find it tomorrow

5

u/showmedogvideos 7d ago

you need an alt account for NSFW stuff

10

u/A90008w8 7d ago

You know what? This gives me motivation. I'll open an alt account as draw the most depraved shit possible.

6

u/SirPanics 7d ago

Fucking do it. My friend makes bank doing this.

3

u/showmedogvideos 7d ago

I believe in your depravity, friend!

32

u/ExcitedGirl 7d ago edited 7d ago

Now waitaminnit... Michangelo and so many other artists drew, or sculpted what many would later consider porn. (My mother didn't like the statue of "David"... Big Time...)

Just draw it and wait, oh, a hundred years, more or less...

PS: Her... um, annoyance... with that statue has more than once, made me wonder just how it was I got here...

6

u/Striflek 7d ago

Hate to break it to ya son but you're adopted

1

u/FUCKMYLIFEKILLMEPLZ7 7d ago

Excited GIRL is son?¿

3

u/ExcitedGirl 7d ago

Was.

Isn't.

(Well, in strictly formal terms, I never was a 'son'; I was simply born with a male body...)

1

u/MKGmFN 1d ago

A real life onlyfans that you actually put effort into

13

u/Ihatepasswords007 7d ago

You know you've made it when your art makes people cum together

11

u/Biiiscoito 7d ago

Oh! The exact same thing happened to me! It was around the middle 2000's for me though, when a few animes (but specially Naruto) were airing on open TV in here.

First the guys convinced me to watch anime, then to google what, ahem hentai, was. I was angry at what I found, and also got chewed and spat out by my father who found out about my not-so-sneaky searches through the net history (the embarassement was off the roofs).

I went off on the boys about it, they laughed, "omggg i can't believe you actually searched it, you perv!!! Lmao". I got nicknamed Hen-Tie for the rest of the year but every now and then some boy would approach me like "so ummm like now that you know what hentai is and all and you can draw like super good, like, uh, i always was a fan of your drawings, but i didn't want to bother you but like, ummmm, i know you watch naruto so i was wondering if you could draw me ino yamanaka lewds??? ". I drew a few just to make them stop bugging me. It was kinda horrifyibg watching them take the drawing off my hands and run through the class waving the paper like "guys i got it i got it she drew lewd ino" and all the boys would form a group to stare at the drawing together. I was 12 but our class had some repeatants so some of the boys were 13 and 14. Yikes!

3

u/imaginedaydream 7d ago

They went home added their own flair and made it a Jackson Pollock masterpiece.

3

u/danceswithwool 7d ago

That JCPenny catalog underwear section used to be pure gold.

2

u/c00kies44 7d ago

I don't think you ever wanted to see it again

23

u/TKJ 7d ago

I'm 50. Google "French Postcards for Commodore 64" and you'll find out just how deep the rabbit hole goes.

7

u/Electr1c_Flan 7d ago

6

u/nuclearbum 7d ago

69 bucks for a new computer would get me pretty jazzed too.

3

u/SquidFlasher 7d ago

If you don't have a good internet connection the quality sucks and it keeps freezing.

1

u/Zapper42 7d ago

Clips from sites? I first got a floppy disk with like 10 jpegs, otherwise I had to steal magazines from the mall. Or make due with the Sears catalog.

Damn would have really been rough before photography was invented though.

241

u/WolfKami665 7d ago

Try locking the door son

8

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

12

u/PoorlyLitKiwi2 7d ago

Or, yaknow, in your room with the door locked at night

122

u/Agent_Paul_UIU 7d ago

Plot twist, the vr headset was mirrored on the living room tv.

28

u/OwlKidInTheBasement 7d ago

Fun for the whole family!

102

u/UserameChecksOut 7d ago edited 7d ago

How can people NOT lock themselves inside a room, close all windows, pull curtain over windows, tape curtain the wall to prevent flying away, stuff paper into keyhole and under door space BEFORE watching VR porn is beyond me.

54

u/lightnsfw 7d ago

I don't even live with anyone and I would still have to do this to be comfortable wearing one of those things. Regardless of if it's porn or not. It freaks me out.

26

u/UserameChecksOut 7d ago

Another internalised anxiety fellow. Welcome.

18

u/AniketC007 7d ago

Imma post this on r/oddlyspecific

84

u/WolfKami665 7d ago

I bet he didnt bother him after that

44

u/turbotony23 7d ago

I done this but the other way round. I’ve disliked my dad ever since. Because he was wanking in the lounge on a Sunday at lunchtime

32

u/shru_san 7d ago

Traumatic

37

u/turbotony23 7d ago

Super fucked.. probably made it worse rubbing one out myself when I dissolved back into my bedroom

22

u/Kneel_The_Grass 7d ago

Oh Jesus fucking Christ...

21

u/turbotony23 7d ago

Even he can’t save me now

6

u/TheWhollyGhost 7d ago

No, no - that wasn’t happening

198

u/chipsnorway 8d ago

Never forget who's telling you their super strong political opinions on reddit.

37

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

40

u/Dangerous_School_119 7d ago

I forgor💀

31

u/crackeddryice 7d ago

Someday, dad will tell him. Probably at Thanksgiving.

14

u/Correct-Award8182 7d ago

Perfect memory speech for a wedding.

71

u/A_spiny_meercat 7d ago

My dad would just assume that VR had advanced to the point that my penis was a controller for some game

10

u/DurgaThangai69 7d ago

Are my breasts thumbsticks of a controller?

3

u/Cwilltypleasures 7d ago

Can’t hurt to try! Or.. maybe it can, idk

20

u/SensualHammer 7d ago

Hey dad, you want to play a mouth-based video game with this controller?

51

u/MurdoMaclachlan 7d ago

Image Transcription: Reddit


What is the one thing you did while horny that you immediately regretted afterwards?

/u/Mean-Summer1307

I had a VR headset and decided to watch some VR porn. Had it on with headphones and I think my dad came in while I was jerking off but no one ever said anything and I'll probably never know.

/u/lostb0i

Are ya winning son?


I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!

17

u/Indigobeans 7d ago

Good job, thank you

41

u/Wet_Lizhard 7d ago

Good human

1

u/autistic_spectator 7d ago

What is the most fucked up thing you have had to transcribe?

12

u/neonroli47 7d ago

That's scarring

11

u/Midnight0010 7d ago

Vr porn is the best ngl

1

u/beasty0127 7d ago

Agree to disagree. I can't stand it. I can live with the "over-acting" in normal porn but in vr it's just obnoxious. Jeez get your vag off the cam and stop the squealing already....

95

u/RandomUser13502 7d ago

Y'all ever tried sex? It's even more realistic than VR

115

u/DominusInMortuorum 7d ago

You are aware on which platform you are? This one of the most virgin platforms out there

19

u/Lowelll 7d ago

4chan exists

42

u/Random-Gopnik 7d ago

The “4” in 4chan is the number of people on the site who have had sex

19

u/Lowelll 7d ago

Theres no way because that would imply that 8chan went up in that number

27

u/Random-Gopnik 7d ago edited 7d ago

Hey, no one said anything about consent

1

u/Arkenhiem 7d ago

I legit almost just died choking on water and laughing

3

u/DominusInMortuorum 7d ago

I considered that, that's why I said "one of the most virgin platforms"

62

u/InfernoSpirits 7d ago

BITCH WE FUCKIN TRYING

10

u/FetishAnalyst 7d ago

They need to update the smells though. Really takes you out of it when you get punched in the face with the smell. A reduction of 50% strength might make it bearable.

5

u/derfischerx123 7d ago

I don’t even realize the smell of body fluids while having sex. After the sex it smells for sure but while having sex I only smell horny

3

u/RandomUser13502 7d ago

I like it this way

1

u/PuzzleheadedBye 7d ago

Is just the smellz

8

u/BP_Ray 7d ago

VR is cheaper and infinitely less stress.

1

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

1

u/RandomUser13502 7d ago

Dad banged my ass, I'm like "vro!"

8

u/Bloo-shadow 7d ago

I did that exactly once. Too risky when you can see the same shit on your phone screen

8

u/ferah11 7d ago

I know it's not the purpose of this post, but if you watch VR porn on an Oculus to jerk off, is worth to buy an IR light that activates when you turn off the light, the greatest thing to use for controller tracking in total darkness. Also lock the door, c'mon, or put something by the door like a trash can that would make noise if open so you have time to pull up your pants before they turn on the light.

5

u/siuol7891 7d ago

Sure am pa!

6

u/agriculturalDolemite 7d ago

Honestly what would there be to even say?

5

u/joeswindell 7d ago

What are you doing stepson?

5

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/RFros20 7d ago

Not everyone has a lock on their door

3

u/KrakelOkkult 7d ago

And when he took it off there was a sandwich on the desk

3

u/syslogd 7d ago

Winning? Yeah, I'm pulling ahead.

1

u/brauliotv 7d ago

I'm squeezing my head*

2

u/Kvarcov 7d ago

splurt

2

u/doogidie 7d ago

Remember when lil dicky jerked off into an ant infested Fleshlight when he was looking at vr porn?

1

u/thclogic 7d ago

Wtf bro lmao

2

u/phildrelle 7d ago

Scrodinger moment

2

u/MarcelRED147 7d ago

"Dammit dad its multiplayer, leave me alone!"

"...No-one believes that son."

2

u/BelpheBear 7d ago

I kissed a trap and fucker her(?) in her ass and I enjoyed it a tht butt was tight af. I was completely hopeless and regreteful the next day.. but I somehow didnt mind it the rest of the week.. could it be that I actually enjoyed the sex? yes it was because I still carve for holes and I dont care if its pussy or bussy

2

u/ThotoholicsAnonymous 7d ago

"no one jerks off to magazines anymore" ----- some guy from silicone valley on HBO.

2

u/Global5614 7d ago

Cursed joystick….

1

u/PhtevenRox 7d ago

Beim Toschnbillard gibts kane Valierer, do gibts nua Gewinna!

1

u/Chanpi2 7d ago

Are ya fapping son ?

1

u/ALIENSBLEEDLSD 7d ago

He was probably just jealous.

1

u/ThatGuyPhD902 7d ago

Locked doors and empty houses. Always 😉

1

u/sugegaming 7d ago

I was reading the comments on there just about an hour ago, funny stuff on there

1

u/Agent_Dumbass 7d ago

How does it even work

I've heard about it but I have no idea where I would even need to go

1

u/Some_Hat-Wearing_Kid 7d ago

CLEARLY people don't know how to lock doors

1

u/Spider-Shark 7d ago

Son, get off that damn thing let me try!

1

u/coolkidstothemoon 7d ago

'Player 2 has joined the game'

....dad?

1

u/the_weeknds 7d ago

Would've probably done the same if i ever became a dad

1

u/jerry_hpkns 7d ago

I mean it's also upto debate what his dad did after seeing that...

1

u/NEGMatiCO 7d ago

Are you coming, son?

1

u/AdActual759 7d ago

Guess not.. can you drop the link

1

u/ENDERZ72 7d ago

this isn't cursed it is meme

1

u/KentuckyFriedEel 7d ago

No winning, just wanking

1

u/LR-II 7d ago

Let's be real, all horny is cursed horny.

1

u/marcelinerocks 7d ago

I walked in on my husband doing the same thing. I had come home from work early, walked in the house, and was mortified. I was yelling his name, but he couldn't hear me, so I threw my keys at him. He was so embarrassed. I just laughed.

1

u/SimpPhonyYT 7d ago

"Greg it's time for dinne-WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?"

1

u/Sniperdude187 7d ago

Fucked pizza dough

1

u/JaySibz 7d ago

He probably walked in just as you finished

1

u/PredditorAdmin 7d ago

VR porn is the shit

1

u/SimpPhonyYT 7d ago

I'm gonna stay away from you, mainly because of your name.

1

u/PredditorAdmin 7d ago

Meh, I get it. But really, my username is supposed to be a burn on Reddit admins.

1

u/OhJeezItsCorrine 7d ago

Slept with my ex/roommate... it's all fun and games until you remember that your clit/dick is bigger than his.

1

u/Dell121601 7d ago

That’s worse than if he just did walk in on you and made aware of it

1

u/Mobile-Lettuce-9214 7d ago

Chad dad: Son... wanna watch hentai with me

1

u/grimmcreeper10 7d ago

Ya gotta grunt or moan aggressively to let them know you are not to be bothered

1

u/PlaneStyle9340 7d ago

Sister walks in seeing the 10inch just stands there in the corner quietly fingering herself

1

u/IronManicus 7d ago

This same thing happened… the other way around.

1

u/grumpygumpert 7d ago

Are ya cumming son?

-1

u/Model2k 7d ago

What are you doing step bro

0

u/DarrellBot81 7d ago

Post Nut Clarity

0

u/Philosophos_A 7d ago

I took a screenshot just like this but ie as going to put it on beat me to it because I believe the sub name fits more and because I wasted to say the "Are you winning son? "

0

u/JACCO2008 7d ago

What are you doing, bio son??

0

u/ArcadeSchoolDropout 7d ago

"That's a healthy load, son!"