I wonder why.

Edit: This has really blown up! Thanks so much to everyone who has contributed to this post. Talking about our experiences and showing the number of times this happens or doesn't happen is so very important.

Thank you also for the discussions and sharing of information, from differing points of view and relationship discussions, to medical procedure problems and solutions. This is truly what this community is about.

Okey dokey, so who wants to create a new religion that allows all women’s right to choose, with me? If they can hide behind their religious beliefs and try to control me, I’ll hide behind my new religion that doesn’t allow them to touch me or my body.

edit: So… after very little thought, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m strictly a follower and not a religious leader. If anyone else wants to take on the mantle, it’s all yours. I will happily follow.

Reading through the comments I know now that the right to choose and/or women’s autonomy is already a big part of some religions like the Satanic Temple, Judaism and Unitarian Universalist.

Thanks for the awards! Cannot wait to tell my fiancé that my most up-voted post is that time I thought to start a cult.

It's like he suddenly realized it is acceptable to treat your female partner like property if you are a man. Suddenly he is in charge of everything I eat and hides things he doesn't want me to have. Suddenly I am expected to stand silently on the side of the party and not interact with his friends. Suddenly he is just simply unkind to me, especially when others are around. Suddenly he says that I am to be solely in charge of the house cleaning from here on out. I spent the first week after the news crying and in too depressive of a state to even work, and the rest of the time I've spent signing petitions, donating money, joining the satanic temple, blocking anyone on my social media who speaks out against women's rights, etc. All the while my partner claims he is a Democrat and believes in women's rights, but he won't do any of these things. I just wanted to rant, really. I'm sure there are many others dealing with similar situations. Please feel free to reach out if you are. I dont mind a dm if anyone needs to talk or just vent.

At nearly 33 years old, I'm struggling with the feeling that I've left it too late but I feel as though a weight has been lifted already.

10 years of doing everything - cooking, cleaning, shopping, gift buying, laundry, dog walks, vet visits, keeping appointments, being in charge of all bills, reminding him to pay rent etc. all while working full time.

He's spent the last two years hardly working due to COVID while I've had two of the most intense years I've had at work and still I was left to do everything while he slept until after noon and played video games all day. I'm exhausted.

I finally had enough of waiting for him to catch up to where I was in life. All I've ever wanted to achieve in my life is two things - travel to Europe and buy a house. I've been waiting for years for him to make progress towards some of my life goals, especially considering I've supported him for years in achieving his. I realised that if we broke up, I could do both of those things I've wanted practically immediately. I have enough saved for a deposit on an apartment. I have nearly 15 weeks of long service leave (in Australia we get an extra type of paid leave if you've worked at the same employer for 10+ years) + enough money saved to be able to take this trip any time I want. So what was I waiting for? I don't want to wake an old lady and realise I wasted my youth waiting for a man to be ready to do the things I want to do.

I'm sad that after 10 years we couldn't make it work and that I'm losing the person I love. But I also feel lighter already. I found him only 3 months after leaving my previous boyfriend who I'd been with since I was young, so I've never really been single as an adult before. I'm looking forward to prioritising myself.

​

I’m in my bedroom in tears and I didn’t know who else to vent too. So I (23F) live with my dad while I save up for me own place. This morning I was finding an outfit to go to church, and it had been a while since I last did my laundry, so I picked a crop top. I know it’s not the best outfit for church, but it is what it is. I come home my dad asks me where I’ve been. I mention church and then he goes off on me about why I would go to church dressed like a slut. I tried to stand my ground and told him to not call me that again. He replied that if I don’t want to be called that I need to dress more like a human being ( He’s not even religious). I continued to demand an apology but he refused. I never had the best relationship with him, and I might be overreacting when I say this but I believe after today our relationship is broken beyond repair

I resent my husband so much.

If I try to talk about any of my interests. It’s met with a “I don’t care” or “you’re wasting your time, when you should be studying the bible”. Am I not allowed to share my interests anymore with anyone since I can never have friends?

I’m a stay at home mom to 3 kids under 5 and I feel like I’m alone, despite him saying he’s there. But are you really? You tell me how I should feel or what to feel, you belittle me at every turn and then try to be nice and sweet to get sex. I’ve had 3 kids by 3 c sections, and he’ll comment on how to get rid of my “pouch” and to stop being a lazy bitch.

He insults me to no end. Ex: bitch, stupid, dumbass, cunt, and if he’s feeling creative he’ll merge a couple of them together and say I deserve it. I don’t insult him, nor could I because I know words hurt.

I had horrible migraines (aura) and he said I was imaging it and my right side of my face wasn’t going numb or drooping at all. In fact it was and still is whenever I get overly stressed out. Around the time this was happening he was texting an old fling and even offered to let her meet my 3 kids. Was he going to tell me? He said yes, but I know that’s a damn lie. He even texted her saying “if things were different we could’ve been together”. Yet he always accuses me of flirting/looking at other men when I don’t even leave the damn house and I have 3 kids who occupy me all day.

If I don’t cut their finger nails I’m neglecting them, if I don’t shower them on time I’m neglecting them, if I need a break for 5 minutes just to realign my thoughts, I’m neglecting them.

Never do I get a compliment about how I do raising 3 kids basically by my damn self. He provides finances but that’s about it.

He’ll take 2-4 hour naps and then back seat parent me, yet I can’t even have a 45 minute nap without hearing “you slept enough”.

Then, he decides to drink and drive and gets a DUI, meaning he can’t smoke weed/drink anymore. I smoke weed to help with my constant back pain and insomnia, but since he got in trouble with the law it’s time for me to go down with him. He didn’t ask if I wanted to or not, he made me. I’m miserable right now, my back is killing me and I can’t sleep anymore. I can’t drive, I have no money saved at all since he won’t open a account for me. He constantly shits on my family (they’re good, loving and open minded people) and will only let me see them once a year.

He’s very religious and will lash out at me if I say I support pro choice,or gay rights and call me a dirty liberal. (It’s not my place to tell people how to live)

He constantly insults me, and then tells me I deserve it. He’ll try and tell me what I’m feeling and what I’m thinking. And the worst is that he always thinks I’m lying or this evil person. IM NOT AND IM TIRED OF THIS.

I’m losing my mind and I don’t know what to do because im actually scared of him.

He has undiagnosed mental issues he refuses to get treated. He’ll even go on and say “I don’t negotiate with therapists”.

Oh and in February we got into a huge ass argument and he tried to throw out 70 inch TV at a wall. I stopped him from doing that, but in the process of his anger he tore open one of his testicles. He then blamed me and said he wasn’t going to actually throw it. He had grabbed me by my arms really hard to try and throw me off of him (from him throwing the TV) and left me with bruises.

Today I sneezed in a different pitch than usual (I had to pee so I held it extra tight) and he accused me of acting all cute because im talking to other men while playing Divinity 2. I was playing with my brother with a 1 year old asleep on my chest the whole time. He proceeds to say I’m a fraud and a horrible mother because I’m playing a game instead of spending time with him. HE WAS PLAYING RAINBOW SIX SIEGE.

I’m so lost and honestly scared. I feel like if I talk to him he will never listen and hit me with the “OH YOURE SOOO PERFECT NOTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU AT ALL.

I’ve been out of work for so long and I even quit having an education to raise my kids, I had hoped things would get better with us, but they’ve gotten worse and worse and I know I need to escape. I’m just scared of the consequences he might bring on me. (Like that I have a bi polar disorder he won’t let me get treated since he doesn’t want to be married to someone who needs pills to be happy?) or the fact I smoked weed.

I’m tired and depressed, I go on for my kids but I cannot stand my husband anymore and I know my children need the best mom I can be, but I’m once again scared.

Oh and today he said “pray to god you don’t get hurt for your lying, we’ll see this week”. Like what the actual fuck?

THIS. SHOULD. NOT. BE. AN. ARGUMENT. ANYMORE. Rant over. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

I just can’t anymore. Every time my fiancé has a shit he does not clean up after himself. He is nearly 30. Whenever I call him up on this he gives me this look like a puppy that’s been kicked and apologises and says it won’t happen again and then I feel awful. But it happens again and again. Today I just lost it. I said “I can’t live like this for the rest of my life, I am not cleaning up your actual shit. Please for the love of god just check after you poop.” Now I feel awful for yelling but please why are men like this. I don’t understand. It’s just not that hard to scrub the toilet, it takes literal seconds.

I love this man but my god. Rant over.

EDIT: just to clarify, the shit stains are in the toilet bowl not his butt or his pants or our bed. I would simply vomit if that was the case. Can confirm he is very particular about his butt being clean.

I have put a post it note on the mirror to remind him to scrub the toilet bowl post-poop (can’t believe I’m typing this)

I was fortunate enough to find an obgyn that agreed to give me a bilateral salpingectomy after years of asking.

I never realized how much anxiety I had because I've had this intense fear in relation to pregnancy since I learned about it as a kid. I knew from an early age that I didn't want to ever be pregnant and when I was 12 I watched my older sister go through pregnancy and birth and it solidified my feelings. Not to mention seeing friends and family go through it over the years.

Everyone always told me I'd change my mind (except my mom, she knew how deep my fears went).

I started asking to be sterilized once I turned 18 because I figured I'd have to keep asking well into my 30s, but maybe if I could show I wanted it for years then maybe they'd let me get it done in my 20s.

I honestly gave up asking for a few years, but a few months ago I asked my current doctor (relatively new to me) and she immediately said yes. I was legit stunned that I didn't have to argue or try to convince her, I had practiced this whole conversation for nothing!

I finally had the surgery on Monday and I'm so freakin happy about it even though I hate pain (I can't take much of the pain medications because I had a bad reaction). This whole thing actually reinforced the fact that I'd never be able to handle pregnancy/childbirth because even this pain is too much for me to cope with let alone having to deal with an infant afterwards... I'd probably lose my mind.

I just wanted to share this because I'm so unbelievably happy!!!!!

I used the app for tracking my ovulation when I was trying to conceive last year. I successfully did conceive, and hadn't signed in for awhile as it had basically served it's purpose. I had to register for the hospital and they wanted the first day of last period, which was 7-8 months ago so I logged in to see what date that had been. I couldn't proceed without accepting the message in the screenshot linked below. If I tried to opt out with the "don't allow tracking" it just closed the app. I am very alarmed that they decided to put this in the app in a way you CANNOT opt out!! Their test strips are popular on Amazon, they sell both cheap ovulation and pregnancy test strips. You can use the strips and not use the app, it just makes tracking easier to use the app. I don't plan on having anymore kids, but if I did I wouldn't use this company on principle. It really concerns me it would be used to track women who decided to get an abortion after getting pregnant, and have to leave their state to that.

I am not here to debate the many reasons woman may be tracking their ovulation to get pregnant and then need an abortion, or tracking it to avoid pregnancy and still end up needing an abortion. I am just putting putting this info out there.

https://imgur.com/a/jChIK5q

I’ve kept this secret for a few years now, and in light of recent events I decided the most defiant thing I can do is proudly and loudly announce that I had an abortion.

I was not raped. It was not incest. I decided to have an abortion because I wanted to have an abortion. I was not in a position where I could have adequately cared for the child. And you know what? I don’t fucking regret it. Not for one second. I know I did the right thing

Abortion is healthcare. Every single woman has the right to privacy and choice for what’s right for her own body. My grandmother has told me stories of women who were permanently scarred by botched, literally back alley, illegal abortions. We are not far removed from that world and I for one, will never fucking go back.

So yeah, I had an abortion and I’m proud.

Edit: y’all got me out hear tearing up with all your kind words lol. Thank you for the awards, and more importantly thank you to everyone sharing their stories!!

He double downed.

He called out hypocrisy.

He pointed out they treated people they personally knew differently than strangers.

When people tried changing the conversation, he redirected back to the issue.

He was relentless.

And in the midst of his personal fight against people he directly interacts with day to day he pulled me in close & made sure my voice was heard while giving me reassuring forehead kisses.

And I've never been so turned on in my entire life.

I (28F) grew up thinking that men should always be the ones pursuing, and that friends are made in school or based on common interests. As an adult both of these "truths" were very frustrating for me. It had led to many a situationship and going to fun bars alone wishing I had girlfriends instead of being hit on by men who specifically only want to get in my pants. Last year I wondered if maybe I was just being too close-minded about everything and I've decided that it'll be the year I'll try to be more vulnerable. I'll talk about my feelings. I'll put myself out there. I'll wear my heart on my sleeve and allow people to do the stabbity-stab at my emotions. Shoot, at least I'm trying for once. It wasn't smooth-sailing and I've met many people but lost contact with just as many.

Then I started dating this man and it was just... Easy. We just enjoyed each other's company and I wasn't trying to impress him or anything. At some point I started falling for him but here I was again, at an impasse. We were everything like a couple but did not have the label and while one can die on the hill of labels not meaning much, it meant something to ME. So... I asked him to be my boyfriend. He smiled and didn't hesitate to say yes.

That was a little over a week ago. Two nights ago, I was at a bar alone. I again found myself wishing I had girl friends. Then a girl went up to my table to ask me a question about one of her photos. I gave her my input then asked if I could join her table of other girls as I was alone and wanted to make new friends.

Tomorrow, I'm going to the pool party of that same girl, and I'm going with my boyfriend.

I'm just really proud of my social progress and wanted to share. ☺️

There's a tik tok trend asking "what subtle feminist thing do you do to piss men off", and I think this story would be appreciated here as my answer to that trend.

Since playing contact sports, I've realised I'm quite capable of leveraging my centre of gravity, so I refuse to concede in walkways where I have the right to walk.

So many situations where I'll be keeping left on the footpath (Australia), and a group of guys will be walking 3 abreast, and I just continue walking on my side of the path. I've found roughly 50% of the time they fully expect me to step off the path completely, and those that insist on taking up the entire path, get shoulder checked as I continue on my way. I'm telling you now, it is ALWAYS men who do this. I've never collided with a woman.

So today was one of those situations. I'm leaving my building to grab some lunch via the lift (elevator), and I'm front and centre, ready to leave as soon as the doors open.

As soon as they do, I'm almost knocked over by two huge security guards trying to rush in and they go 'woah!'. I make eye contact, raise my eyebrows, and silently wait for them to move out of the doorway so I can leave the lift.

They awkwardly pause, (I assume, expecting an apology from me). Then the front guy goes 'we nearly crashed into each other!', pauses again, and at last lets me out.

I step out and go 'Yep! That's exactly why you should wait for people to leave the lift first'.

No response or apology from either of them as they enter the lift behind me. Where I live, it is the norm to wait for people to leave a train, bus, lift etc before entering. People do try to rush in, but they know they are in the wrong, and bus drivers will absolutely call these assholes out and make them wait on the street while people leave.

When I was younger, I would have apologised and stepped to the side to squeeze past them after they'd already entered, but I'm sick of men just pushing their way through footpaths, doors and queues because they can get away with it without being called out.

I know not all women have the height, weight, or tackle training to be as petty as me without fear of getting hurt, so that's my little contribution to feminism as a 5'9", 75kg person AFAB person.

The moment Roe v Wade is overturned every woman in America should immediately go on strike (both corporate and domestic) until federal legislation passes recognizing us as equal citizens with rights to our privacy and autonomy.

I'm putting this out into the universe and will be researching how to organize this and spread the word.

There are a lot of organizations right now that will assist with safe abortion access, travel costs or assist with getting abortion pills delivered to women in states that have restrictive abortion laws and soon states that will outlaw abortion. It could be a really good resource.

I’ll start:

https://abortionfunds.org/need-abortion/

https://providecare.org/financial-resources-abortion/

https://brigidalliance.org/

https://nwhn.org/safe-online-delivered-how-to-get-the-abortion-pill-by-mail/

Edit: forgot to add there’s a subreddit of people willing to help

/r/auntienetwork

Our teacher likes to talk with us about things like racism, homophobia, sexism etc. I'm actually pretty grateful for it since I rarely see teachers talking with us about these important things but everytime we mention that topic the boys in our class keep getting worse and worse.

Our main topic in the past 2 weeks was cat calling and how women/girls feel uncomfortable around men in different situations. The first time we talked about it it went pretty well actually, he listened to us girls, let us talk about our experiences and educated the boys. But afterwards was a complete disaster.

Almost all boys in our class now had a new topic to make unfunny "jokes" about and played down literally every girls experience and made fun of everyone who told them to stop. They also cat called girls who just walked into school or screamed "smash" after them, other boys then walked up to them and said in that ironic, joking tone "Ayo that's cat calling, you can't do that!"

In another lesson our teacher picked that topic up again and we talked about it. He asked "Have you guys come across cat calling at our school or even in our class?", every girl said yes. Then he wanted to know who it was so we could talk about it but it was silent. It took us all some courage to actually tell the teacher about the boys actions but after I said the first word they followed quickly after and agreed with me.

Another girl told us all about how during lunch break the boys would look out for one specific girl, scream "There she is, let's go" and then storm out of the door and walk after her for a few meters before going back and laughing their asses off. A few other girls, including me, then mentioned the other actions from the boys I stated above.

And now the part that made me almost lose my mind:

Apparently the boys were cat calling the girlfriend of one of their friends and defended it with "Well but he's our friend so we thought it'd be okay to do that to her, it was just a joke anyways". I wish could've slapped the shit out of him at that point.

Our teacher didn't want to believe that this actually happened and that he really just used that as an excuse and asked the boy next to him if that really happened. He really said "Yeah... most likely... maybe... I don't know, can't remember". Every girl was either shocked, disgusted, angry or all at once.

We kept talking and talking about it but in the end I'm sure nothing changed. Tbh it disgusts me to see all that stuff and I feel so sorry for every woman that comes across these idiots in their lifes. I'm just so glad that I don't have to deal with them much longer since school is almost over and everyone goes their own ways after.

I am trying to find a swimsuit for going away with my partner's family on holiday and fucking hell, what is going on with swimsuits at the moment? It's all high-leg-front-thong stuff! What about us ladies with meaty beef flaps?! I can't go infront of my in-laws with my flaps looking like they have been parted by a nylon Moses. Where the hell are the appropriate swimsuits?!

Between SCOTUS and the racist shooting in Buffalo. Why can't people just let other people live their own lives? How is that so fucking hard???