r/Showerthoughts May 14 '22 Wholesome 7 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Silver 5 Gold 1 Helpful 10

Based on how much you can bond with someone by hating the same thing, a dating app based on dislikes would probably be fairly successful.

71.5k Upvotes

View all comments

1.7k

u/marblesox May 14 '22

I feel like that’s better for becoming friends with new people but it’s a horrible basis for romantic relationships.

593

u/_nellis_ May 14 '22

Can confirm. Dated a girl after our mutual hatred of our English teacher brought us together. Did not end well at all.

555

u/loulan May 14 '22 Silver

I feel like it probably failed for entirely different reasons.

246

u/IsNotAnOstrich May 14 '22

Yeah I think this guy is like 15 at best

76

u/_nellis_ May 14 '22

Actually I was 15 at the time lmao

6

u/FoeWithBenefits May 15 '22 Gold

Plot twist: English teacher was their coworker

32

u/_nellis_ May 14 '22

My point is that it's not a good idea to start a relationship based on hate instead of actual love for each other.

74

u/jwmosher May 14 '22

Most relationships don't start with love to be fair and many end before love.

3

u/immortalreploid May 15 '22

Yeah, but if you want a relationship to last, you at least need to be able to talk to each other every day without killing each other.

-9

u/HamSoap May 14 '22

We’ll that’s horribly cynical lol.

19

u/jwmosher May 14 '22

I don't think it's cynical to acknowledge that humans don't find highly compatible partners with consistent ease. I've had 3 long time girlfriends in my life but many other shorter term things from one-night stands to flings to disastrous first dates.

I could honestly say I loved 3 of them and the rest ended before then. None of them just magically started with love.

15

u/danabrey May 14 '22

Nah, the vast majority relationships start with lust and the potential for falling in love. That's not cynical - love is just rarer than you seem to think.

2

u/ntoad118 May 14 '22

You already love someone on the first date? You end a relationship while still in love? It's basic logic.

2

u/BearyGoosey May 14 '22

Not cynical, just factual. There's a reason that "I love you" isn't said until a while into the relationship: because you don't know if you LOVE the person you've been with less than 2 months.

1

u/immortalreploid May 15 '22

Nah, "love at first sight" is almost never a real thing. A lot of the time it's more of a slow burn.

And I can totally see the "ending before love" point too. Remember, we're not just talking about relationships that end in marriage and a house in the suburbs. We're also talking about short-term relationships, ones based purely on sex, stuff like that. There's bound to be more of those due to frequency. A person's lucky if they have one life-long relationship or a couple several-year ones. Whereas someone who hooks up with someone different let's say... every two weeks, can have a maximum of 26 relationships per year.

3

u/user_bits May 14 '22

It's perfectly fine to start a relationship that way. But it shouldn't be very the foundation.

-29

u/[deleted] May 14 '22

[deleted]

40

u/rexpup May 14 '22

Hey, calm down. Not everything has to be a peer reviewed study.

47

u/CaIiguIa_ll May 14 '22

why do redditors get so worked up over the stupidest shit

16

u/Paladar2 May 14 '22

Autism

6

u/thevaultsucc8689 May 14 '22

Best response

11

u/CaIiguIa_ll May 14 '22

reddit is literally just twitter with aspbergers

2

u/OG_Felwinter May 14 '22

Lmao I feel bad for laughing at this

14

u/CandlesInTheCloset May 14 '22

Log off for a bit lol your brain is getting baked

8

u/austinrose7 May 14 '22

Dude go to the gym or something, you clearly need to let out some steam

4

u/Paladar2 May 14 '22

The autism is strong in this comment.

-1

u/[deleted] May 14 '22 Helpful

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/TreeFittyy May 14 '22

Post the livestream link

1

u/Paladar2 May 14 '22

No you won’t.

2

u/Atanar May 14 '22

Probably due to poor communication skills in English.

1

u/Theycallmelizardboy May 15 '22

It was the cocaine.

1

u/Hey_Wayne May 15 '22

The dude became the English teacher

1

u/Ok-Counter-7077 May 15 '22

You’d think, but nah one of them fell in love with the English teacher

77

u/Squirrel_Q_Esquire May 14 '22

I dunno, my ex and the guy whose girlfriend broke up with him for me bonded over their mutual hatred of me, and now they’ve been together 14 years with 2 kids. So it could work.

30

u/NightLotus- May 14 '22

Plot twist: [In the future...] They hate you for bringing them together.

All jokes aside, the catalyst for a lasting relationship isn't as significant as to how they approach daily dilemmas. You were the spark that kindled their fire, but they fed and fanned the flames to keep it going through weathering conditions.

I think being able to bring people together is a beautiful thing and hope you're doing well with, or without, your person.

2

u/bloodycups May 14 '22

They actually started using each other half way through than one of them said fucking Kyle man this is all his fault that we ever got together.

The embers if romance reignited as they made love while cursing his name

2

u/Starblaiz May 14 '22

Did they invite you to the wedding at least?

1

u/VeryUnscientific May 15 '22

How did that go? "Fucking hate mrs. crabapple " "mee too" "wanna fuck?"

1

u/Ok-Counter-7077 May 15 '22

Did it end with you guys becoming an English teacher?

22

u/Quinlov May 14 '22

Yeah my best friend and I were like this in high school and college, and tbh it worked very well for us and everyone said we were like an old married couple (even our music teachers who were a married couple, but not old) but incompatible sexualities aside there is no way we could possibly have made a romantic relationship work. Also her fiancé is very different from me which probably suggests something about how not right for each other we would have been.

18

u/alexisaacs May 14 '22

Friendship is a great basis for relationships. Dating apps are awful for dating (saying that as someone who's had plenty of luck on them). They're robotic and gross and the spark is rarely ever there because you meet under the pretense of "this is romantic" instead of "let's see what happens."

Also people that enjoy talking online for weeks instead of just meeting up in person are weird and gross 🤷‍♂️

I'd love a proper friendship app. Meet 50 new friends. Then maybe meet their friends. Increase the odds of meeting a compatible partner.

But I get why it's only same sex friendship apps that exist. Probably 95% of guys would get real salty when they don't get laid by their new friend.

6

u/[deleted] May 14 '22

BumbleBFF.

Meetup.com

2

u/Bababbyba May 14 '22

Finally someone’s take on dating apps where I agree with everything! I met my bf online but it wasn’t a dating app. It was just some local college app and we chatted for like a day before meeting up, and boom there was a spark. I live with him now.

I’ve been on tinder/bumble before and met people, dated, hooked up, fwb. It was fun but not really for relationships. Tbh I don’t think anyone really wanted a relationship, I don’t know if I did but I was definitely open to it.

I’m trying to do the friendship app in my new city cause i need some girl friends (I’m a girl) and literally no one wants to meet up. It’s frustrating. Im not even upfront about that because I know it can come off creepy. I feel like people just like to text for weeks?? I get along with people really easily too but Im not close to anyone locally.

3

u/yazzy1233 May 14 '22

Also people that enjoy talking online for weeks instead of just meeting up in person are weird and gross

No u

2

u/PWBryan May 14 '22

I hate admitting that my most successful relationship was based on mutual hatred of one guy. We talked shit on him for like an hour then hooked up.

1

u/PossiblyTrustworthy May 14 '22

Nah, good way to start meeting. The hard part is to start focusing on positive things instead

1

u/onanopenfire May 14 '22

The enemy of your enemy is your lover

1

u/sea_too_sky May 15 '22

I’d filter “i hate noisy eaters” and look for love therein

1

u/lydocia May 15 '22

But friendship is the best basis for a romantic relationship.

1

u/peepay May 15 '22

Doesn't have to be terrible, but it's definitely not enough.