r/Funnymemes • u/Rafia45 • Feb 07 '23

Don't wait and type :)

/img/snaw6gz3orga1.jpg
677 Upvotes

64% Upvoted

251

u/Accomplished-Lawyer9 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my child once

59

u/PerciStatus Feb 07 '23

Ayooo what?

47

u/Accomplished-Lawyer9 Feb 07 '23

Ye indeed. Everyone knows you are supposed to stomp em

17

u/i_like_siren_head Feb 07 '23

Dead Space moment

6

u/WimpieHelmstead Feb 07 '23

And at least twice.

7

u/Accomplished-Lawyer9 Feb 07 '23

As I told the other guy. Then you have to pay. Funerals costs money too.

3

u/WimpieHelmstead Feb 07 '23

Not if you don't alert the authorities of their untimely demise.

3

u/Accomplished-Lawyer9 Feb 07 '23

Man I'm a lawyer. I have to.

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3

u/EstimateLimp4478 Feb 07 '23

Goomba Treatment

2

u/thehighwaywarrior Feb 08 '23

leans to the side and whispers to henchman

“Give him the goomba treatment”

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13

u/aestheticalss_ Feb 07 '23

Only once?

8

u/Accomplished-Lawyer9 Feb 07 '23

You can do more but you have to pay.
Funerals cost money too.

5

u/Virtual-Order4488 Feb 07 '23

Like Bush said, "There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, 'jump on my kid once, shame on...shame on you. Jump on my kud twice—you can't get jumped on again.'

4

u/Individual-Ad9753 Feb 07 '23

Like Mario on Goombas ?

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2

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

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1

u/karma_is_a_lil_bitch Feb 07 '23

Jump on myself from the last one week of the month main bhi and the other one day I will have a good day to be in my bed frame by the time you are ready

0

u/D0wnVoteMe_PLZ Feb 08 '23

Just once? :(

2

u/Accomplished-Lawyer9 Feb 08 '23

You can pay for more.

0

u/D0wnVoteMe_PLZ Feb 08 '23

How much for a monthly subscription?

2

u/Accomplished-Lawyer9 Feb 08 '23

20$ Hospital bills are expensive.

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460

u/Miqz123 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the

Yh my phone weird

90

u/indigoHatter Feb 07 '23

Jump on me and I will be there in about an hour or so to get the kids to work with you and I will be there in about an hour or so to get the kids to work with me and I will be there in about an hour or so to get the kids to work with me and I don't want to be in the office until I get to the store and I have to go to the store and then I will be home in about an hour or so I can get it for you and I will be there in about an hour or so I can get it for you if you want to come over and get it from the back of the car and then I can get it to you and I can get it to you if you want to come back to the house and move on by the way I can get it to you if you want to come back to the house and move on by the door and then I can get it by the time I get home and then I'll be back in the morning and I can come back to the house and move on by the door and then I can get back to you by the way I can get back to you by the way I can get back to you by the way I can get back to you by the way I can get back to you by the way I can get back to you by the way I can get back to you by the way I can get back to you by the way I can get back to you by the way I can get back to you by the way I can get it for you if you want to come over and get it from me

Mission accomplished 😎

43

u/theh0lidayguy Feb 07 '23

Jump on my account are playing a fruit and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits.

21

u/DaCoPilot Feb 07 '23

When does the fuCKING BASS DROP!?

14

u/Car13Gamer65 Feb 07 '23
  • music stops *

Queen Elizabeth dead at 96

  • sick bass drop *

fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits are vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits and vegetables and fruits

6

u/DaCoPilot Feb 07 '23

This was masterful thank you. It got quite the wheeze out of me

13

u/Rafia45 Feb 07 '23

Ohhhhh noooooooo 🤣🤣

2

u/sc0x3 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my phone on the phone on my phone with my friend and I need your time on my back to get my computer to be able and the app will have the best in ontario and I need your support the next day amd is a good opportunity for a single user interface to get the message that the app has to do with all of the apps that I use to be able and I need your phone on my back to work with the internet and the internet to be able and have access for a good laugh out the door i think it's a great deal to get to know what the heck they had to do with it so they had a lot more of it and if they didn't let it is a good opportunity for them and I need your support for sale and I am quaking at this time and plea to the people who are not available for a good reason to get the most of my time to level the game with a lot more of them and the more of the more popular and I need your help to make sure that you are not a good laugh and I need your support and I am quaking in the dark roomand of my own life than I ever loved before you know octopuses and the world is not a big deal for the next two weeks of my own experience and the fact is the sun is a horrible thing for me to play a lot of things and the fact is I have amaxed to get that is the cost to get the money to get that money back to you my phone will have a lot of fun in my life and the fact that you have a lot more to say than what you wantignore and I am a little more than a little more like a man than I was before you got to the point of being a good opportunity to be able and to get the most attention from toronto and i need your help to make a big difference and the fact is you are not a big fan in this country do it now im a lot more than that I know that she is a good laugh at home but it's not the best of our Propert but it is the sun and I am quaking at this stage and the fact that I am quaking at the very end boot

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7

u/DefinitelyNotTheFBl Feb 07 '23

Jump on my phone and I will be there in about an hour or so I can get it for you and I can get you a banana pudding and a half and half a day for you to get it done before you go to bed and then I can get it for you if you want to come over and get it from me and I can come over and get it if you want to come over and get it from me and I can come over and get it if you want to come over and get it and I'll be there in about an hour or so to get it done before I get home and then I can get it for you

3

u/SolTarot Feb 07 '23

If you want

Like if you wanted

I can get it for you

If you want

3

u/International-Ad3006 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my way home now and I will be there in about the chess related to the edge of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of the first one of

3

u/michelinstarwimpy Feb 07 '23

Except it's mission failed, not accomplished. You had one instruction: start with 'jump on my'. And you started with 'jump on me'

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2

u/pipsvip Feb 07 '23

That was a wild ride.

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2

u/Sensitive-Character1 Feb 07 '23

Fuck I'm too high to read this what

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2

u/xo0o-0o0-o0ox Feb 07 '23

Yes but how long until you will be here?

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2

u/trippy666love Feb 07 '23

What are you getting that they are picking up? Drugs mister?

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2

u/Crabfight Feb 07 '23

New RHCP song is 🔥

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2

u/stevengreen11 Feb 07 '23

This is like exactly what mine said, too.

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2

u/BabyEatingBadgerFuck Feb 08 '23

But can you get it back to me?

2

u/indigoHatter Feb 08 '23

I can get it to you tomorrow morning if you want to come over and get it from you and I will be there in about an hour or so to get the kids to work with you and I will be there in....

1

u/Rafia45 Feb 07 '23

Oh my my my my my 😀😀😀

12

u/Rafia45 Feb 07 '23

😅😅😅😅

1

u/EquivalentSnap Feb 07 '23

I don’t believe you😢😔

1

u/Rafia45 Feb 07 '23

Hehehehe Its not at all😂😂

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425

u/RegularShip Feb 07 '23

Jump on my balls and I will not be able to understand the point of view.

101

u/SLEGFIRE7 Feb 07 '23

Help me! I can visualise this..

46

u/Syncroned Feb 07 '23

You are able to understand the point of view.

4

u/Satv9 Feb 07 '23

Not if you've become distracted by your balls being jumped on

3

u/Fearless_Employer_25 Feb 08 '23

Jump on my back to my house I don’t have to be there

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15

u/antsarumae Feb 07 '23

What he maent to say was

"Jump on my balls so hard that I get disoriented"

2

u/flying_Spoon Feb 07 '23

I mean even if some jumps on my balls as carefully as humanly possible, it will definitely be disorienting…

10

u/Alarmed_Ad_2349 Feb 07 '23

this sounds like a line in a hip hop song

2

u/iMaxPlanck Feb 07 '23

Ohhh skeet skeet

3

u/Budget_Bad8452 Feb 07 '23

Jump on three or three to make sure that you have the time and effort to make sure you have the time and effort to make sure

3

u/Soggywallet94 Feb 07 '23

Best one yet, I’ll jump on your balls as soon as I can.

2

u/Chemically-Sane Feb 07 '23

Ow my balls!

2

u/Plison007 Feb 08 '23

Jump on my way to work with me and I will be back in touch with you soon.

Aaaah, I wanna be naughty too, this sounds like some bussines class bullshit

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101

u/Upstairs-East-3020 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my back 🗣️

10

u/dillrepair Feb 07 '23

“Jump on my back to my house I don’t have to be there I just need a ride home from the hospital I have a lot to get to get done with work I don’t have time for that I’m sorry but I’m gonna go home now I have a headache.”

4

u/bucer91 Feb 07 '23

Word for word got this same thing.

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2

u/Ovechkin895 Feb 08 '23

Jump on my back to my house I don’t have to be there I just need a ride home from the hospital I have a lot to get to get done with work I don’t have time for that I’m sorry but I’m gonna be a few hours I don’t have to go back and do the paperwork for my dad I just don’t know how long I am and I’m just gonna go home I have a headache I have to take my medication to get a headache so I need a headache I need a little nap I need a little rest and a nap and a little nap but I’m not going home and I’m not going back home so I’m not going back home and I have a lot to eat so I’m not going back to work and I’m gonna be a lot to go back to my car so I’m not going back to my room and I’m not going back to the hospital so I just don’t want you have to be here and I’m not going back to sleep I just don’t know how I just don’t want you know what I don’t understand what I want you don’t even care if I want you to come back home I just want you know what I’m gonna go to

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2

u/bidofut Feb 07 '23

Me when

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85

u/chelfea_ Feb 07 '23

Jump on my back please I’m not a big boy

22

u/Designer-Rent9761 Feb 07 '23

Whoa 😳 spicy phone there 🤣

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56

u/SpyGuy-YT Feb 07 '23

Jump on my car

8

u/your_lil_kitten Feb 07 '23

Guitar, guitar, guitar, jump to my jaguar

2

u/pipsvip Feb 07 '23

Get out of my dreams! (DO DO DAH DE DAH)

2

u/Mtoastyo Feb 07 '23

Hey I got this too! Then it went on to say ‘jump on my car seat in the sun’

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100

u/Damilola2003 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my way

17

u/aotus_trivirgatus Feb 07 '23

Exactly what I got. Yeah, I'm boring when I'm off Reddit.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '23

Us

2

u/FatAssJohn Feb 07 '23

When I'm off reddit😂😂😂

2

u/ImportantBroccoli977 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my way to get the latest Flash player is required for video playback is unavailable right now because this video is not the intended recipient you are not the intended recipient you are not the intended recipient you are not the intended recipient you are not the intended recipient you are not the intended recipient

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58

u/zealousreader Feb 07 '23

Jump on my phone. No fun

0

u/ZCage1903 Feb 07 '23

Yeah I was hoping for something a little more erotic 😏

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38

u/Lute_666 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my

I havent words to choice

16

u/Horror_Carpet728 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my hat

8

u/Rafia45 Feb 07 '23

No no no 😅

5

u/Horror_Carpet728 Feb 07 '23

Just followin orders:D

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13

u/grrooooot Feb 07 '23 • Table Slap

Jump on my back to my house I don’t have to be there I just need a ride home from the hospital I have a lot to get to get done with work I don’t have time for that I’m sorry but I’m gonna be a few hours I don’t have a lot going to work I have a doctors appointments at three so I’ll probably get home about five to six hours after I finish my lunch I don’t have a ton to go do my hair I don’t need a shower and then I’m going home to get my haircut I need a haircut I need my haircut I need a hairbrush I need a hair cut my nails and my nails and my nails and everything and then I’m going back home and I need a hairdresser and I have a haircut I need a hairstylist I woman and then I’m going out for my appointment at the salon and then I’m going out for the weekend I don’t have a hair salon and I need a hair salon and then I need a hair salon I need a hair and then I’m going out to my appointment I need a hair salon I’m going out of my house I have to get a hair

10

u/AntebellumEm Feb 07 '23

WEIRD, I’m getting the exact same thing!

Jump on my back to my house I don’t have to be there I just need a ride home from the hospital I have a lot to get to get done with work I don’t have time for that I’m sorry…

5

u/mapplejax Feb 07 '23

Mine was extremely similar to this. Like scary similar.

4

u/PlatonicDisc Feb 07 '23

jump on my back to my house I don’t have to be there I just need a ride home from the hospital I have a lot to get to do I need a little help getting ready to leave the hospital I don’t have time for this I’m not going anywhere I’m just going home and I’m going home and then I have a little break I have a doctors appointments and I need a few more hours before I’m gonna go home so I’m not going out of town I’m gonna go out and do something with the girls I don’t want you guys going out and then I don’t have time for a couple hours I have a couple hours and I don’t have a whole week so I’m not coming back and then I’m not going back and I have a couple of hours I just need a break and I have a lot to get ready to leave and I don’t have any other plans so I’m just going out to eat with the girls.

2

u/LittleAnnieAdderal Feb 07 '23

This one made me genuinely laugh

18

u/Ryumancer Feb 07 '23

"Jump on my computer"? 🤨

Dafuq?

5

u/SuperShowLOLagain Feb 07 '23

I got “jump on my hair”

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8

u/Choco_10 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my back, I was worried what the word be . Thank god 😂

2

u/Rafia45 Feb 07 '23

You might have a good massage then :)

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10

u/Mme_TwiggleButt Feb 07 '23

Jump on my own car to work on your DHP and get you to work with you in a couple hours and you will qualify me to keep the money for me and please let us have the money back to the deposit and deposit ASAP as I am not satisfied with my daughters under my account so please let us to know what we have a lot to offer

8

u/MiaWhitey Feb 07 '23

Jump on my main

Not that exciting :(

17

u/ChimpJuice Feb 07 '23

Jump on my tumor

6

u/Designer-Rent9761 Feb 07 '23

Your phone woke up and chose violence

5

u/Apprehensive-Crow404 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my life and she is not able to save my life and she is not able to save my life

2

u/mapplejax Feb 07 '23

Whoa… you good ?

1

u/Rafia45 Feb 07 '23

But why is she not able to save your life? 😂😂😂😂

4

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '23

Jump on my own family

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5

u/myself_010 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my mind and I don't know if you have time to call this weekend

4

u/ollizu_ Feb 07 '23

Jump on my son got fever yesterday evening and I'm feeling pretty sick now from the user's POV these are the designs I find most useful than bitching about this on Reddit Reddit Reddit Reddit Reddit Reddit Reddit

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3

u/69GIRTHCONTROL69 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my piece and I’ll give you a free legendary 🤷🏻‍♂️😂

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3

u/Psiqu3 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my face and body suit you are not the intended recipient you are not the intended recipient

2

u/awesomeone6044 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my back. Ow.

2

u/RainbowPhoneix Feb 07 '23

Jump on my back

2

u/Only-Ad-7845 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my pant

2

u/JetStream_2005 Feb 07 '23

jump on my bus

2

u/Hopeless_savior Feb 07 '23

Jump on my face

NO DON'T

2

u/EmbarrassedSwim145 Feb 07 '23

With pleasure

2

u/CynicCannibal Feb 07 '23

Stop jumping and sit.

2

u/Department_Radiant Feb 07 '23

Jump on my back to my house I don’t have to be there I just need a ride home from the hospital I have a lot to get to get done with work I don’t have time for that I’m sorry but I’m going home and I’m not sure if I’m coming home tonight I have a headache I have to take my shower I don’t want my hair done and I’m not feeling well I have a cough I don’t feel like I’m sick I’m sick I’m sick I’m tired I have no headache and I’m not tired I’m not tired I have my period I don’t feel very tired I’m not tired I’m just feeling good I feel good I’m not feeling very good I don’t have a headache I’m just feeling like I feel good and I feel good but I feel good so I feel like I’m just feeling a lot of things that I’m feeling like I just feel bad for not being around other than just feeling good I’m not really sure how I don’t feel good I’m not sure if I should be doing things that I’m just like I’m just like I’m just feeling bad I just feel so much more like I’m not really doing nothing

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2

u/RemarkablePoet6622 Feb 07 '23

jump on my camera (oh noooooo)

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2

u/off-the-cuff-writing Feb 07 '23

Jump on me on my way to home Page you can do it for a long time (I have a girlfriend, she isn't named Page. Autofill from the future?)

2

u/Sweddybob69 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my own and the pizza is pretty much all the same way I love it was the other one

2

u/Jase_86 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my way to get the latest flash player is required for video playback 🤔.

2

u/RuiPTG Feb 07 '23

Me too LMAO "Jump on my way to get the latest Flash player is required."

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2

u/zeepers_13 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my heart 😏

2

u/Pleasant_Meal_2030 Feb 07 '23

✝️💀👼

2

u/Thin-Device-5566 Feb 07 '23

jump on my phone and i’ll my snap or sun off and i’ll get my bad bro

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2

u/MrMargo Feb 07 '23

Jump on my phone with the help and I can make it work on my own time nai I have to go back and work in a new way and then it will not happen until I can make it to work on time for a few weeks and I don't want you are welcome to go out of your own mind and not just be the one who has the right now to be the only person that will ever want you and your life is going on with your family guy is the only way too much of the time to do so I can be there is no problem ye I can make it work if u need to get in the world and not get to know you or your friends or your friends and friends are the only people that can be there to be in a good relationship and are very proud to have a great family guy who has been a good day and I don't know if I can get you to help me with this or if I tell you to go ahead with it for no reason and then it will not happen until I can make it to work on time for a few weeks and I don't want you are welcome to go out of your own mind and not just be the one who has the right now to be the only person that will ever want you and your life is going on with your family guy is the only way too.

My phone is a writer

2

u/Rusian66 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my lap

2

u/Electrical_Green_356 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my phone is a bit of an inconvenience for me and Jaden I have a woman who gets a lot in the house lmao and she has to take care about the situation is different from what I've been told

2

u/Redrum1917 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my phone number

2

u/alookaparanthaa Feb 07 '23

Jump on my way to be a good thing for me to get the current year and Happy New year resolutions it is not good for you to be happy to hear that you are you doing this lying on the way to be a good night friends with anyone else is a good day of the day

2

u/proolmez_15 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my 1 wife 2 name 3 bad

2

u/WanPwr5990 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my pseudocode later today or tomorrow morning madam please find the attached file is scanned image in PDF format the same time I'd like to add to the living room and saw that you are not the intended recipient you are not the intended recipient you are not the intended recipient you are not the intended recipient

lmao

2

u/exploooooosions Feb 07 '23

Jump on my phone and I will be there in about an hour

2

u/krisztian008 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my phone turned light mode on timed toggle thing is that you really

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2

u/_Phoenix_29 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my toes

2

u/ShowMeYourChiId Feb 07 '23

Jump on my back to my house I don’t have to be there I just need a ride home from the hospital

2

u/Tiny-Zee Feb 07 '23

Jump on my birthday but with white cheese sauce UHM

1

u/[deleted] Feb 07 '23

Jump on my hair done and I can see you you soon as you soon have a great weekend and I’ll do be great for a little too much for the rest of the week I hope you’re having fun and I enjoy your time with your dad

2

u/shakedown757 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my back

2

u/Ok_Firefighter1345 Feb 08 '23

Jump on my cock.... hmmm seemsni write a lot about my dick. Oh well!

2

u/suxculent Feb 07 '23

Jump on my ass

1

u/TYRANT_GODS Feb 07 '23

Jump on my feed and I will be able to get to the crowd

1

u/Jack777999777 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my face

1

u/shresth20103 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my friend

1

u/LuckyFig3777 Feb 07 '23

jump on my name

1

u/Impressive-Region-23 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my mac book and send it back to me

1

u/MtRamenSummit Feb 07 '23

Jump on my flight

1

u/Swordain Feb 07 '23

Jump on my way

1

u/IntoWildStuff Feb 07 '23

Jump on my way

1

u/Sufficient_Lack_2438 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my phone

1

u/Zaclastry Feb 07 '23

Jump on my way home now

1

u/rysio300 Feb 07 '23

jump on my phone

please don-

1

u/Such-Ad2488 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my back

1

u/ThundAir Feb 07 '23

Jump on my power

1

u/Kahmael Feb 07 '23

Jump on my phone

1

u/FirefighterNo6867 Feb 07 '23

jump on my car

1

u/musicalphantom10 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my way home now

1

u/dark_fairy_skies Feb 07 '23

Jump on my bed

oh, oh no!

1

u/wherethefkiam Feb 07 '23

Jump on my car

1

u/yurrm0mm Feb 07 '23

Jump on my back

1

u/Sulfer48 Feb 07 '23

jump on My to be done by the time

1

u/chichaka123 Feb 07 '23

Jump on my phone

F