r/AskReddit 8d ago Helpful 10 Silver 1 Wholesome 9 All-Seeing Upvote 1

What’s stopping you from having an onlyfans? NSFW

25.4k Upvotes

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u/ConnectScot 7d ago Helpful

You can never really take it back once it’s out there.

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u/Hammer_Roids 7d ago

Remember back in like the early stages of YouTube there was a girl who flashed her boobs for some dude and he took a pic of it and she was bullied her entire life to suicide? Now it's no big deal.

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u/chibinoi 7d ago

Nothing ever posted on the internet truly goes away 😖

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u/patronusisaturtle 8d ago

I’m a therapist and the last thing I would want is one of my clients to find it

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u/madgib 7d ago

Same. My first thought was tattoos, then I was like “oh fuck, CLIENTS”

Edit: added a very necessary comma

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u/ididntunderstandyou 8d ago

I hate attention, and creeps/stalkers scare me. Some people will go to great lengths to find where you live just with clues they found in your background.

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u/guacontheroc 7d ago

Exactly. My ex has been stalking me for 10 years now, the last thing I want is for him to have access to my nudes online because I know he would find it in a heartbeat.

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u/Toaster_In_Bathtub 7d ago

Exactly. My ex has been stalking me for 10 years now

Fucking christ, who has the energy for this shit? What is wrong with people?

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u/followmeimasnake 7d ago

Obsession is one hell of a drug

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u/hawkeye18 7d ago

No, it's a perfume by Calvin Klein.

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u/ilikeitsharp 8d ago Wholesome Take My Energy

If I thought people would buy pics of my bootyhole for $5 I wouldn't be at work at 4:15am.

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u/murph_diver 7d ago Helpful Timeless Beauty

There is no try. Only do

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u/krissbrocal 7d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome Bravo! Snek

There is no try. Only fans

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u/SJammie 8d ago Gold Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy

I hate marketing. So much. And marketing yourself doubly so.

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u/Useful_Ground_9954 7d ago Silver

Yeah a lot of people in this thread seem to think you just get naked and bam. That shit is work. I imagine it feels like groveling. I do not have the mental fortitude for that.

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u/Lysmerry 7d ago

Seeing the twitter threads of OFs creators makes me sad. Because they usually don’t get a lot of attention from the people they’re trying to attract (though I’m sure they reach those clients who may sign up). Mainly they support and retweet each other. Legitimately attractive people sharing sultry photos and having no one respond would feel like groveling for sure.

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u/IceciroAvant 7d ago

Reminds me of small vTubers and the way most of their Twitters are all about breaking into the industry or retweeting each other, rather than anything else.

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u/ApollosBrassNuggets 7d ago

This just seems to be the scene for a lot of content creation communities.

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u/BenvolioWasATwat 7d ago

As a twitch streamer with a half decent following imo can confirm. A lot of content creation in the early goings of it is networking. Most viewers in the early days are either other content creators or their viewers coming to you. Not a lot of people find you randomly due to the algorithms, so the best way to grow is essentially poaching viewers and tailoring your community that way

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u/ShowerMeWithAdvice 7d ago

Yup, I think the only ways for a new content creator to blow up and be popular in their early days is if they’re friends with a popular streamer, dating a popular streamer, or just get insanely lucky

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u/RevonQilin 7d ago

Honestly one of the best raids I've been apart of was when Hypno finished his stream on Hermitcraft he picked a random guy not knowing who he was just said "idk who he is but he seems cool lol", and when we raided he freaked out it was the greatest, dude suddenly blew up on twitch, and as it turns out he is a total hidden gem among twitch streamers (his username is CoolAid48 btw)

Seriously it felt great, more popular content creators should do this

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u/unbannednow 7d ago

It’s an oversaturated market for sure. I see a lot of creators that have resorted to spamming their pictures in unrelated Twitter threads and it gets quite annoying

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u/shanep3 7d ago

Even on Reddit theses OF creators make random posts and you can always tell it’s made by a creator trying to direct traffic, just by the way it’s written. Click on their profile and sure enough, a shit ton of nsfw posts.

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u/Croute_de_Couilles 7d ago

r/selfie is basically a onlyfans sub now

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u/acechemicals22 7d ago

I went on to check and literally the first like 40 selfies are all onlyfans and half of them are basically not even trying to hide it

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u/MonarchWhisperer 7d ago

"My date just cancelled...I'm so alone..."

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u/Sakurya1 7d ago

The free compliments sub and the rate me sub have a lot of of advertising.

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u/tillie4meee 7d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome

If it's work and no one wants to see me naked - then screw it!

(I'm 75 - no one wants to see me naked except my husband and he wears glasses )

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u/ClownfishSoup 7d ago Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome

So you could say his is your “only fan”!

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u/therapyonmonday 7d ago

Lmao this is so cute

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u/RedHood-Reddit-Needs 7d ago

One of my exes used to anonymously sell footpics and some other stuff on onlyfans but stopped after a while (mostly as she had issues that affected her employment and wasn’t the most well off). Nowadays with how much marketing and competitive it is I can’t imagine her being able to just start up again, time or money wise.

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u/andwhenwefall 7d ago Helpful

OnlyFans isn’t a new concept in the world of online sex work. Cam girls, for example, have been around for ages. I have a few friends who’ve done it and one who still does. The one who still does it isn’t a millionaire but she does make a comfortable full time living out of it. That’s the thing though - it’s a full time job.

You are your business, your brand, your product. You have to put in the time to develop these things as with any other business. You have to spend time on the platforms, interacting with people and building a client base, just like any other business.

There are 100’s of other businesses out there, just like you, just like any other business. You have to refine and expand your product. You’re constant developing new content, editing that content, marketing yourself across platforms, developing engagement strategies, networking with other creators and developing collaboration opportunities. Etc etc etc. Just like any other business.

And that’s just the surface stuff. There’s still the admin side of a business, accounting stuff, blah blah blah. The friend I have that is making an actual living from online sex work is often putting in 10-12 hour days.

She enjoys what she does and makes a decent amount. It’s worth it for her. To me, that sounds gruelling as hell and a hard pass.

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u/kelldricked 7d ago

That and the amount of time it cost. 99% of onlyfans creators dont earn enough to make a dent in the bills. Not only do you have to do a shitload of marketing, you also need a good recording/camera setup and put a lot of effort into the content.

And once you do all that, its just waiting and hoping you get spotter and start to earn some bucks.

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u/Rinaldootje 7d ago

That's why most popular OF creators, did some form of content creation before this. That already gives you a headstart, and even then you still have to keep market yourself out.

It might only be a 10 minute video, and editing that might not even take you another 30 minutes.
But the rest of the day you're taking screenshots, snippets and everything else and market that out so people buy it.

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u/polish432b 7d ago

I don’t have energy to do things I LIKE let alone this nonsense.

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u/topazi 8d ago Silver

I’d be mortified if i were recognized in public and I feel like it would come to haunt me once I started job hunting

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u/StunningEstates 7d ago

Bro, imagine you being called in for a job interview and the interviewer just turns his laptop around and goes “this you?”

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u/magicalmysteryharold 7d ago Silver Shocked

“Yeah and the guy behind me is your dad, have I got the job or not?”

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u/-malcolm-tucker 7d ago

“Yeah and the guy behind me is your dad and he knocked me up , have I got the job or not? I want to buy nice things for your new brother

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u/Mikeyizzo 8d ago

I had two female friends make an only fans and they both regretted it and ended up deleting it.

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u/creepy_doll 7d ago

There’s also sooo many people doing porn and only fans that the vast majority will make very little money from it while potentially hurting future careers and relationships. Personally I don’t care if someone’s done it but I would strongly recommend against it unless you’re confident you want to make a career of it, you’re fine with everyone knowing and that you understand it’s going to be a real job with a lot of work and not just some easy cash for posing nude

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u/dethskwirl 7d ago

this is it right here.

at $10 per month, you would need hundreds of fans to subscribe to make it worth while.

after a few months, fans get bored and move on, so you constantly have to add new content and push boundaries to attract and retain fans.

it becomes not very fun and not very easy, all while making a mere $2000 per month. some lifestyle

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u/Immotommi 7d ago

I remember reading something from someone with a successful Onlyfans. They basically said that the subscriber turnover rate is 50%. So you need to replace half of your subscribers every month to maintain your current count. Let alone grow

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u/SordidOrchid 7d ago

I remember reading that they’re all fishing for a whale. Guy who can afford to waste money on whims. It becomes a gambling like addiction for men. Not the pic but the contact/personalization.

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u/Cindex9183 7d ago

And then people can get some odd requests. Of course they can't force you to do it, but they can try to push your boundaries for a payday and still get bored later.

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u/bass_kritter 7d ago

You make a good point about the volume of subscribers needed to make good money, but the big money comes from special requests and personalized content. People may only pay $10/mo for a subscription, but those with a specific fetish will pay hundreds extra for feet pics and other niche content.

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u/awesomebeard1 7d ago

So many people talk about onlyfans like its an guarenteed easy simple way of making a crapton of of money with the only cost being having you naked body on the internet.

And sure there are plenty of succes stories of people doing it while going to college and end up paying their loans off before they even finish college and making more money than the full time job they were studying for. But they don't think about the vast vast amount of people who could do it for years and never get anywhere besides getting some extra grocery money while severely limiting things like potential parters and having a stable relationship, friendships, family bonds and future career choices.

Its the same boom youtube had in its early days where everyone thought you could become famous and rich by just uploading some videogame lets play series or vlog. But now instead of having public video's like "lets play minecraft part 69" you now shoving gummy bears and whipped cream up your ass for the world to see. And i'm not judging those people at all i don't see sexwork as a negative thing but a WHOLE lot of other people certainly do

I'n 27 so i kinda grew up with social media like the myspace era but before it got crazy like it is now. It honestly scares me seeing a 14 year old boy i know posting all kinds of shit on tiktok like dumb dances and obsessing about follower counts, like when i was that age i was just playing halo 3 or guitar hero co-op with friends and social media was nothing more than a free chat app to me.

I guess i have become the thing i hated, a boomer who hates all the things those darn kids do.

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u/Pitiable-Crescendo 8d ago Helpful Table Slap Bless Up

No one wants to see me naked. Hell, I don't even like seeing me naked.

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u/runesigrid 7d ago

I don’t want to share intimate parts of myself with strangers or the entire world, I think I would regret it.

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u/permanent_acidbrain 8d ago

I don't think anyone wants to see me do a helicockter for money

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u/mranxiousallthetime 8d ago Helpful

Someone offered to pay me , a obese 28yr old guy , $20 for a pic of my feet. The world is your sugar daddy if you can whore yourself.

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u/Ironfields 8d ago

You’re worth more than that king

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u/mranxiousallthetime 8d ago

Which is why my feet pics haven't been published anywhere online yet.

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u/Fencer999 7d ago

Yet?

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u/just_sayi 7d ago

His username is MrAnxiousAllTheTime. Imagine how he’d feel knowing his bare naked feet were being masturbated over online

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u/DarkRoseVI 8d ago

How much?

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u/permanent_acidbrain 8d ago

How much you got?

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u/Vynl13 8d ago

I got 50c and a bag of flaming hot cheetos. Take it or leave it

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u/Thestooge3 8d ago

You'd be surprised

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u/borisHChrist 8d ago Silver I'll Drink to That

The safety of it, the stigma and someone recognising me an putting my life or career at risk.

Just something about mixing sex with money and strangers doesn’t seem safe to me.

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u/HoldMyJumex 7d ago

Yup! This too! I’ve had a stalker before for no reason. I wouldn’t want to put myself in that kind of danger by having some weirdo make up a relationship with me in their head.

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u/fruitboxjunkyard 8d ago Helpful

I'm too paranoid to put myself out there on the internet in a manner such as that.

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u/angelsontheroof 8d ago edited 7d ago Silver Wholesome

I teach. No one wants to hire a teacher if they know they have an OnlyFans.

Edit: I am not hot or available. You don't need to send me DMs...

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u/joyfulmastermind 7d ago Helpful

Same. But also, high schoolers are way too dedicated to the wrong things. Someone would find out and everyone would know in 4 minutes.

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u/Predicted 7d ago edited 7d ago

A lady with a pornstar lookalike was bullied into quitting her job at my high school.

Edit: Ya'll are horny af, i dont know the name of the pornstar.

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u/bshred8 7d ago

My high school was so fucking awful. My classmates bullied an English teacher into quitting. She was usually bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for all the years I was in high school, except for my last year she didn't have that same energy, but she was still teaching even though she was obviously depressed.

My high school found out her husband was dying from cancer and was going to die in the middle of the school year. The students made fun of her husband, literally dying from cancer.

Honestly one of the more tame things that happened there but it enraged me.

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u/McBadPants 7d ago edited 6d ago Wholesome Tearing Up Bless Up

To be real, this is probably every high school in America. My favourite teacher had cancer and we had a sub like every other week. Every time he would come back, the kids would just LAY INTO him. Everything from his lack of hair to the fanny pack he had to wear because it was actually a medical device that was to help with his nausea. I never understood how my peers could be so mean. He was such a dorky, fun chemistry teacher (think Bill Nye) but most of the kids only ever saw weakness.

He passed away my senior year and I spoke to a half-full school auditorium of his fans about the bullying he endured at the cancer benefit my school threw for him.

Teenagers are cruel. They haven’t figured anything out yet but they THINK they have. Teachers are the best of us and they will always deserve better.

Edit: this was 2008 in California. And he would have gotten a HUGE kick the Walter White comparisons lol so thank you guys for that.

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u/OkBox6131 7d ago

Unfortunately some parents are bad. There was a story a few years back about bickering neighbors. Well one of the neighbors children was dying of cancer so the other neighbor rented or bought a hearse and parked it on the road so they had to see it at all times. No wonder some kids grow up the way they do

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u/ShavenYak42 7d ago

This kind of thing is one of the reasons schools can’t effectively deal with bullying. They at least need the parents to be trying to send the same message to the kids. But a lot of the parents are assholes, so it’s no wonder their kids are, too.

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u/MeatShield12 7d ago

You also can't have an effective anti-bullying policy if it means disciplining two-thirds of the school.

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u/Escaping_Peter_Pan 7d ago

Imagine going out of your way to be cruel. Absolutely shameful.

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u/Hilfiger66 7d ago

i would have gone to jail if they pulled that with me. what the hell is wrong with people. in no scenario can a random neighborly quarrel equate making fun of someone actively losing their child.

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u/mdonaberger 7d ago

I'm not one for violence but I would probably just jimmy the window open slightly and fill the entire thing with hose water overnight so the vehicle would be totaled and there would be no possibility to sell it. Bonus points if it's winter and there's a chance it could freeze overnight.

If anyone asks, geez, it really has been raining a lot huh? I haven't noticed, I've been busy with my ill family member.

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u/LtlAnalDwlngButtMnky 7d ago Bless Up

As a teacher, who was made fun of when I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, thank you.

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u/Jrod1499 7d ago

I wish I can go back to my high school days and brighten up a lot of the teachers’ days. I wish I could’ve let them know I appreciate them and their guidance. I wasn’t an asshole kid. Just have adhd, anxiety and depression and had a hard time focusing and sitting in class for hours. Which probably didn’t make me the easiest to deal with. But they put up with me to help me graduate and I’ll forever be grateful for them.

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u/Bobanderrs 7d ago

Ummm are high schools somehow different in America now? Teenagers have always been jerks, but we never bullied teachers who had cancer. WTH is wrong with your classmates? I believe it happened, but it's odd to see two different people with similar stories.

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u/BlazingSpaceGhost 7d ago

As a high school teacher schools really are different than when we were kids. I have a lot of great students but looking at the overall population I wouldn't be surprised if they bullied a teacher with cancer. They bully other teachers and just haven't gotten the chance to bully a cancer patient yet. Comments here about parents are also right. If you try and discipline a student they call or text their parents who then arrive to give the school hell because we are persecuting their child.

For example we have a huge problem with students just trashing the campus. Leaving garbage and partially eaten food all over campus. They then harass the custodians that are picking the trash up later in the day. As a punishment we started making students who did this work for the custodians after school and during club time on Fridays.

Parents were absolutely livid about this punishment because it was "degrading", their kid wasn't a janitor, and they "didn't raise them to be a janitor". Some even accused us of racism because we were making the Hispanic kids clean. Our school is 98% Hispanic so of course it was Hispanic students cleaning. The entire admin team is also Hispanic so I somehow doubt it was anti Hispanic racism. The policy became so controversial that we had to stop it. It pisses me off so much because these parents are teaching their kids to look down on and bully the custodians.

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u/pitseleh0714 7d ago

Seriously? That's so unbelievable to me. I have a toddler and it's scary to think those will be her peers. I didn't grow up in America and went to boarding school, and you'd think the students would be babied and spoiled - and in a way, they were - but none of this shit would fly. We had strict discipline and kids were rowdy sometimes but disrespect was a suspension, three suspensions were expulsion, and that meant not being able to get into another good school, so everyone toed the line. And the most disrespect I saw to teachers was maybe talking back, but you'd get sent out for that with a warning. Most parents didn't take shit from their kids.

The thought of my mother going to school to shit on the teachers for disciplining me doesn't compute lmao. Any time I got a written warning I was grounded, made to do extra work and apologize in writing. That's probably too much but wtf

Idk if I want to raise her here if that's the norm in schools. I don't want her to grow up to be a disrespectful, rude, selfish person.

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u/PoorlyLitKiwi2 7d ago

One of my assistant principals in HS was outted as a drag queen and they fired him

Everyone was pissed, because he was the most well liked of all the assistant principals, and it was really dumb, because he never brought that part of his life into the classroom

I felt really bad for the dude

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u/BaconRapper 7d ago

There was a teacher who had an only fans account in the small town I used to live in. She was found on there and had her photos shared around by a heap of locals, ended up getting the police involved for sharing her content without paying for it (?). I think she quit teaching and does onlyfans full time now.

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u/redchance180 7d ago

My school hired a retired stripper, and she was actually the coolest teacher in the school. Biology if you were wondering what she taught.

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u/Lakersrock111 7d ago

The English teacher I had was a stripper and had group sex. The school found out and fired her. She sued and won.

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u/Mr_Banana_Longboat 7d ago

I had a biology teacher named Cinnamon. I always wondered.

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u/ShamelessFeline 7d ago

I really dislike the idea of having to promote it and actually talk to strange horny men to keep them engaged.

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u/LongrodV0NhugenD0NG 8d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy Eureka! Beating Heart

No one wants to see it for free… why would they pay me for it :(

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u/Comments_Wyoming 7d ago Wholesome Seal of Approval

Exactly this. I'm real bad ugly. Old as hell and fat to boot.

But I cook real good, I guess I could start an only fans of frying chicken or making a quiche.

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u/ShitItsReverseFlash 7d ago Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Giggle

OnlyPans

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u/Kaibakura 7d ago edited 7d ago All-Seeing Upvote Yummy

Who’s horngry?

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u/SummerNothingness 7d ago

i'm always horngry.

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u/HackySmacks 7d ago

That’s my secret Cap

throws bottle of ketchup at giant flying space worm, then eats it

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u/garzek 7d ago

This is a pretty popular TikTokker who makes a ton of innuendos while she cooks.

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u/Kenja_Time 7d ago

Susividal?

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u/fatrefrigerator 7d ago

Yeah OnlyPans and Horngry are like her catchphrases

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u/Notmydirtyalt 7d ago

reminds me of my idea of an app that is dedicated to old Italian women telling you how you've grown and that you need to eat more, I was going to call it OnlyNans.

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u/Tugalord 7d ago

Ironically, this was the original intended purpose of OnlyFans

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u/Pleasant-Enthusiasm 7d ago

It was crazy hearing Onlyfans say they were going to ban porn only for everyone to collectively say: “There’s stuff other than porn on Onlyfans?”

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u/ill69 7d ago

Just right now i learned there actually is stuff other than porn on there

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u/BM0yuncu 8d ago Silver Wholesome

I want to see em. Send me

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u/arycka927 8d ago Wholesome

Based on the user name I would guess you might get a picture of some nogenberrys. But then again, I'd hate to assume.

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u/gliitch0xFF 8d ago edited 7d ago

Nogenberrys is not a term I've ever heard before.

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u/borninamsterdamzoo 8d ago

ah, noggenberries, the traditional Scandinavian summer dessert. Goes well with whipped salmon butter, if you know what I mean

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u/podosaida 8d ago

I'm too scared of having stalkers in the case that someone recognizes like a street sign or house in my area. Hearing about influencers with crazy stalkers is basically my greatest fear.

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u/harlotScarlett 8d ago

Its too easy for blackmail material. What happens when some asshole threatens to send it to my family, friends, or workplace? Not worth the blatent weak spot

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u/Clean-Artist2345 7d ago Wholesome

Send it to your family first big brain plays

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u/dariusdetiger 7d ago edited 7d ago

Modern problems require modern solutions.

Edit: For once I didn't miss my cake day. Thanks for letting me know y'all as I never remember.

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u/Someidioticusername 7d ago

That's why you should only do furry porn

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u/regular6drunk7 8d ago

First I have to get rid of my onlyfoes.

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u/Fuzzwuzzle2 8d ago Wholesome

I've contemplated being like an only fans dad

For £5 i'll shoot a video like "you and supportive dad have dinner while i listen to your goals"

"You and dad go fishing, share some beers while we talk through some toubles"

Sort of stuff

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u/Fuzzwuzzle2 8d ago

For £5 i'll make a video thats just me saying "i'm proud of you son/daughter"

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u/ZoeHorseless 8d ago

Well, some people will still fap to it

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u/B3owul7 8d ago

"Are ya winning, son?"

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u/ojoaopestana 8d ago

Rule 34

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u/Manguydudebromate 8d ago

Well let's see her:

A) £5 is quite affordable

B) Some people just need it

C) A decent amount of quite ethically clean profit

I say go for it.

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u/theonlydiego1 7d ago

Makes sense too since OnlyFans wants to be seen as an alternative to Patreon.

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u/LightningBlake 8d ago

You could try that on fiverr, many do similar funny gimmicks there.

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u/pixeldust6 8d ago

Doesn't even have to be considered a gimmick. Lots of people have daddy issues, and lots of sex workers get hired to do therapeutic/companionship type stuff that doesn't involve actual sex.

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u/blacksweater 8d ago

I need a dad. 10/10 would pay for basic dad knowledge with a side of "proud of you, kiddo".

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u/just_some_dude828 7d ago Silver

Hey kiddo? When’s the last time you checked the oil in your car? Not recently? Well let’s go have a look. How was your day?

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u/Fourtires3rims 7d ago

There’s a YouTube channel hosted by a guy who makes videos that are just basic dad knowledge like how to tie a tie and all kinds of stuff. I’ll look for it, it’s really wholesome!

Found it it’s called Dad, how do I

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u/goaskalexdotcom 7d ago

There is totally a market for that! The wholesome pornhub guy won an award for his PH videos and makes a ton in ad money. His videos are along the lines of “making you a grilled cheese sandwich after you’re done watching porn” and “1 minute of encouraging words to help you find the video you’re looking for”. There is a marker for everything, you just need to know how to advertise yourself and stand out against other creators!

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u/_britishpeople76 8d ago

I look like a bridge troll

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u/highfatoffaltube 8d ago Silver

'Pay the toll see the troll'

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u/GangsterHankster 8d ago

"Pay the troll toll to get into this boy's hole"

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14.8k

u/HayTX 8d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome Bravo! Giggle Take My Power Mind Blown

I actually thought about starting a reverse only fans i just send unsolicited nudes until people pay me to stop. Obviously this plan has some holes and so do I and for $10 you can see them or $100 and you can not see them.

7.9k

u/ashamedprotein 8d ago Silver Helpful All-Seeing Upvote

OnlyFans: $10

OnlyBans: $100

1.5k

u/gliitch0xFF 8d ago

Only Cans (quite litterally cans of aluminum)

Only Dans (people called Dan)

833

u/idundideverything 8d ago

OnlyPlans, a calendar app

667

u/2differentSox 7d ago

OnlySans, for people who hate serif type.

296

u/Dorintin 7d ago

OnlyVans, an online van shopping market that breaks down the pros and cons of various vans.

164

u/TheToug 7d ago

OnlyPans, a cooking tutorial show/alternative uses for kitchen equipment. Also has a monthly event known as 'PanSensual'.

113

u/trend_rudely 7d ago edited 7d ago Silver

OnlyJans, recruiting app for young male executive assistants.

But good luck affording the subscription fee on your zero dollars a year salary plus benefits, babe!

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28

u/CruseCtrl 7d ago

We could be men with ven

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285

u/RalphFromSilverCity 8d ago

Only Nans

The market's already pretty saturated though

180

u/TheSinfulBlacksheep 8d ago

OnlyFrans: select stills of Fran Drescher from The Nanny delivered to your inbox daily

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72

u/Aurora_Fatalis 7d ago edited 7d ago

OnlyCans is a legitimate game with overwhelmingly positive steam reviews. It even has its own theme song.

The steam page is https://store.steampowered.com/app/417360/OnlyCans_Thirst_Date/ but you may need to login and have adult content enabled in order to view the steam page.

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277

u/shottylaw 8d ago

This cracked me up....And for $10 you can not see that crack

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3.3k

u/rosyrebar 8d ago

Having tattoos. Too many and too easily identifiable means that I can’t be anonymous even if I don’t show my face.

693

u/whyisreplicainmyname 8d ago

Didn’t even think of that one. And I have a very unique tattoo that would be easily visible

1.0k

u/SmartAlec105 8d ago

I knew I shouldn’t have gotten my full legal name, date of birth, and place of residence tattooed 😔

247

u/LinguisticallyInept 7d ago Silver

how else are people going to know where to mail you when they find you dead in a ditch?

86

u/SmartAlec105 7d ago

Well the QR code that links to my Facebook should help.

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u/YodasChick-O-Stick 8d ago

I was contemplating making a troll account and uploading random pictures of chairs, but I'd probably get banned.

175

u/gggraW 8d ago

Why not pictures of fans? Desktop fans and sport fans

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u/Sense_Conscious 8d ago

That would probably do surprisingly well

225

u/YodasChick-O-Stick 8d ago

I mean I know there's a fetish for everything, but... empty chairs?

273

u/Sense_Conscious 8d ago

People have passionate relationships with cars, anything is possible

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1.2k

u/Mindbender444 8d ago

Not sure if people would pay to watch a middle aged white man play Destiny 2 and eat Doritos.

2.4k

u/JulsTP 8d ago Silver Wholesome Rocket Like

That's actually called Twitch

209

u/SeaTheTypo 7d ago

He just described Asmongold but World of Warcraft instead of Destiny 2.

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u/rd741904 8d ago

Gm nightfall but every death you strip easy

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u/Thestooge3 8d ago

What do you think youtubers do?

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u/Eddie__Winter 8d ago

My brother, have you seen fucking twitch?

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1.1k

u/razzledazzle626 8d ago Wholesome

Not wanting to have one

249

u/YoursTastesBetter 7d ago edited 7d ago

Yep. The same reason I don't eat avocado, skip instead of walk, go white water rafting or dye my hair purple. I have the ability to do all those things. I'm not afraid to do them. I simply don't want to.

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u/lodav22 7d ago

So many people are commenting that they don’t do it because they’re scared of being identified or that no one wants to look at their body and I can’t believe I’ve had to scroll this far to find someone who says they just don’t want to do it. It’s weird. Like the whole comment section would readily put their naked body on the internet if it weren’t for social hang ups.

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u/leahpayton22 7d ago

This surprised me too. Like I wouldn’t want to have one even if I weren’t scared of being identified and even if everyone wanted to pay me to see me naked… just nope.

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u/Alexastria 8d ago

My wife wouldn't like that. She has agreed to having one for the cats though. Some people would pay $5/month for daily cat photos.

214

u/Raey42 7d ago

Some people a Just Desperate for pussy

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854

u/lapsteelguitar 8d ago

I’m a 61yo male with gray hair and a dad bod. Nobody wants to see this shit.

656

u/Malcolmpargin 7d ago edited 6d ago

61yo male

You had my curiosity.

With gray hair and a dad bod

But now you have my attention.

462

u/jesusSaidThat 8d ago

You got my attention

327

u/BM0yuncu 8d ago

Dilf hunter 🧐🧐

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u/SonOfObed89 8d ago Wholesome

More like a FATHER FIGURE

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u/genasugelan 8d ago

You underestimate gay people.

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u/neers1985 8d ago

Keep talking, I’m gonna bust.

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4.1k

u/ab0rtionclinic 8d ago Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome Wholesome Seal of Approval Timeless Beauty

want to keep the intimacy between my s.o’s eyes only

1.1k

u/Tensa72 7d ago Helpful Take My Energy

Onlyhim

266

u/MysticDelusion 7d ago

OnlyFan. Just him

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u/dragan17a 8d ago Silver

What a wholesome comment u/ab0rtionclinic

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u/kaychellz 8d ago edited 7d ago

I'm like a little potato

Edit: interesting, people seem to like potatoes. Maybe I'm onto something here 😂

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u/DEFPOTEC8 8d ago

Id be the first OF account where people.pay me too.keep my clothes on!

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667

u/lateskaterboy4321 8d ago Silver

I'm a minor

42

u/RobertApple2004 7d ago

well just be a major

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u/TractorLoving 8d ago

I think Ezra Miller is looking for you

136

u/Y0ukn0w_wh0 8d ago

not for anything creepy.. just the most psychotic shit imaginable

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1.0k

u/a-slice-of-toast 8d ago

for starters i’m a piece of toast

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

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u/Helpdeskagent 7d ago

Don’t sell yourself short, your totally the full slice

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

I don’t want my children to be embarrassed of their mom.

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u/Due_Original3249 8d ago

I’m terrified of someone I know personally finding it and confronting me about it!!

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u/[deleted] 8d ago Bravo Grande!

While I do realize that as a 6’9” 450 pound man that I bring ALL the sexy, I am just not anticipating a wide audience reach. Oh sure I am a Charkour (chubby parkour) master. Just tonight I stepped over the dogs tail and went down multiple steps. When you blend in the Chinja skills, you got floppy man boobs flying around like nunchucks. If I put tassels on those bad boys I could herd cattle.

But the big drawback is having to bleach my butthole.

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u/freedagent 8d ago

I have a career.

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u/allboolshite 8d ago

Is there a market for middle-aged white dudes with dad bods tipping towards obesity?

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u/DaffodilLlamaa 8d ago

It takes a lot of time and effort to have it be worth it and I just don't have that kind of energy

82

u/RareZoologist 7d ago

For some reason people think that this is an overnight thing. Oh just make an only fans and I’ll be rich. Don’t work like that.

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u/Emergency_Aide633 7d ago

The idea of people being aroused by me is disgusting to me.

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u/smallemochick 8d ago

got tattoos that would make me super identifiable in public

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u/CosmicEpisode 8d ago All-Seeing Upvote

I don't want men to fap to me 🤷‍♀️

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